Problems and features of the formation of a family and household sense of patriotism in the conditions of modern society

Kipreev Sergei Nikolaevich ORCID: 0000-0002-3948-8360 Postgraduate of the Department of Social and Humanitarian Disciplines of the Krasnodar University of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia 350005, Russia, Krasnodar Territory, Krasnodar, Korenovskaya str., 2/4, sq. 273 komissar.1917@mail.ru Other publications by this author

Introduction

The greatness of Russia is not in the amount of money, the power of weapons and the richness of its soil (although, of course, in this too), but in the quality of the people who inhabit it. The potential of the state lies not in the level of education, but in the strength of the spirit of these people, in the formation of the spiritual and moral values of the nation. We share the opinion of A. B. Teplova that "the destruction of the values of three generations (caring for the grandparents), hierarchy, multiple children, the indissolubility of the union led to divorces, breaks in intergenerational ties, demographic and social problems, and today is understood as the cause of destruction in the family and deviation in children and adolescents" ^[10].

Even the most well-armed and wealthy nation cannot resist an external and internal enemy if it does not have high morale and faith in victory.

The foundation of the nation's human capital is the strength of the family foundations of society. Today, unfortunately, in our country there is a depressing trend towards the collapse of the spiritual and moral foundations of the traditional family. A. Zakharchenko states the fact that "the traditional family is the basis on which the work of revelation of a person's life path is carried out, cleansing and highlighting the mysterious ties of family and ancestral tradition, mutual responsibility of generations" ^[3].

This is especially true of the state–forming nation - the Russians. However, this also applies to all other peoples, since without the presence of strong and cohesive Russians, the Russian civilizational core will be destroyed and all the peoples in the orbit of Russia's influence will perish.

D. G. Levchuk and O. M. Potapovskaya note that "the existing ideology, based on the principle of tolerance for everything and in everything, changes the traditional meaning of the concepts of "spirituality", "morality", "virtue", and at the same time complicates the operation of important mechanisms of family influence on the formation of the spiritual world of the individual" ^[4].

In the conditions of the actual war on the territory of Ukraine and the complicated socio-political situation in the world, we need to openly say that historically unfriendly countries for Russian civilization – such as Turkey, China, Japan, the USA, Germany, Poland, etc. are aimed at separating our Fatherland.

The very existence of a person should be aimed at the well-being of the Fatherland. Therefore, the creation of a single family, the growth of its well-being in the understanding of any resident of Russia is an increase in the well-being of Russia as a whole. Moreover, even the slightest contribution to increasing the welfare of Russians is a small step towards strengthening the power of Russia. V. Slobodchikov and A. Ostapenko, together with like-minded people, single out the goal of educating a person in a family: "the anthropological ideal: a believer is a family man and a patriot striving for spiritual, moral, mental and physical perfection. This person must have a clear sexual identity. For a boy and a man, the concepts of service and responsibility are important; for a girl and a woman, love and care" ^[8].

In the modern world, there is a real war against family values. In the Western world, corruption has won. But things are bad in the Russian world. The number of divorces exceeds the number of marriages, and therefore the number of children who are partial orphans is growing. The quality of upbringing in broken families leaves much to be desired. It is the family " that is a necessary element of the social structure of society, performing a number of functions, the main of which is the reproduction and upbringing of the future population. It is the family that becomes the first social environment of the child, it is here that the fundamental qualities of the future personality are laid" ^[12].

The number of abortions per capita is huge. In the understanding of a significant number of citizens, abortion is not murder, and this already speaks of the monstrous moral degradation of society. An unborn child is not just the absence of one person, in the near future it is a whole destroyed genus. The position of any sane person: I have no right to decide for someone who has not yet been born.

The number of large families is decreasing. Even the very concept of "having many children" has decreased from 5-6 children to three. The childfree movement has appeared and is gaining momentum. His very existence on our earth is a great abomination. This movement poses a direct threat to state interests, is extremist in nature, should be banned and persecuted by the Russian authorities.

Many people prefer to have dogs and cats instead of children. By itself, the love of animals does not carry anything bad, but without a formed system of value hierarchy, when a person is unambiguously and in any situation more important than an animal, it can lead to incredible perversions. A. A. Chuprina put it this way: "Scientists associate the crisis of family values experienced by society with a crisis of spirituality and morality. Modern civilization has finally "freed" man from all kinds of spiritual, moral and aesthetic duties. The "new world" has established itself, which is absolutely opposed in everything not only to universal values, but also to any other world of traditional culture. Obviously, the crisis of family values is one of the manifestations of the global crisis. Therefore, all attempts to solve the family problem as a private problem are untenable in principle" ^[13].

One of the implicit and unconscious problems of society underlying the demographic catastrophe in Russia is the irrationality of strategic planning of life by modern people. Time is of crucial importance. The period of a woman's childbearing age is about 20-25 years. Physically, it is possible for a healthy woman to give birth to 6-8 children on average during this period. The analysis of the birth rate of such countries of the past and present as Israel, the Russian Empire, Canada (Quebec), Nigeria, Saudi Arabia, shows that this is not only possible, but also practically feasible.

About 30% of women go to universities, of which about 10% give birth to children during their studies. Thus, it can be seen that about 25 percent of women (10-15 million) in Russia shorten the possible childbearing period to 15 years. Every year, this gives a decrease in the population of 100-150 thousand people, and reduces the number of possible births to 5-6 per woman. Such people consider their career more important for themselves than the life of a person, her (or his) unborn child.

T. M. Chapurko and I. E. Poddubnaya point out that "many scientists were puzzled by the questions of the significance of the institution of the family, and each of them considered this institution through their research and positions, taking into account the norms of morality and morality of a particular period of time" ^[11].

Many families postpone the birth of their first or second child due to financial difficulties. "Let's get on our feet and give birth" - these are the thoughts and logic of a significant number of citizens. And they "get on their feet" by the age of 35, and by that time they will not be able to physically have more than 1-2 children. Meanwhile, this is the reverse logic of "we will give birth and stand on our feet" - that's how the true point of view should sound. The birth of a child mobilizes the family, forces them to save on insignificant things, to invest all their strength, money, all their time in the most important thing – in children.

Sh. A. Amonashvili says this about the art of raising children in a family: "a child in a crowd, a child in a family of alcoholics, a child abandoned, a child despised, a child in a swamp of bad sights and temptations, a child in the darkness of indifference, a child in adult aggression, a child in darkness, a child without a school, a child without a teacher, a child ..." ^[1].

If you ask a young man how many children he wants to have, we rarely get an answer that is more than 3-4. Many perceive children as a burden. E. V. Shestun draws attention to the fact that "young people have great difficulties with raising children today. When a child is born, everyone knows that he needs to be fed, bathed, dressed. He grows up, and he is only fed and clothed. He is already over thirty, and everyone is feeding and dressing him. There are so many grown-up boys and girls around! They forgot that sex education is the education of men and women, their readiness for work, defense and family life, readiness for sacrifice and love, and not just the consumption of unearned bread" ^[15].

We conducted a brief sociological survey of 120 cadets of educational organizations of the Ministry of Internal Affairs Russia, aged 17 to 24 years, 55 girls and 65 boys. As a research method, we have chosen a sociological survey with a Likert scale, which allows us to identify the main groups of adherents of certain views.

The data of the study are presented in Table 1:

Table 1 Results of a brief sociological survey on the attitude of young people to the birth of children and the subject of spiritual and moral values

Interpretation of the research data shows that there are significant gender differences in the views of young people on issues of family well-being. It is clearly seen that among men there are more child-haters, people who do not want to have many children, and fewer supporters of a strong family. The main goals of marriage in young people, identified by the results of the study are as follows:

1. Sex. Many young people, both men and girls, see the main function of marriage in the satisfaction of the sexual sphere. Youthful hormones overpower all common sense, but after some time, faced with the complexities of family life, rosy ideas are replaced by real ideas. Many people can't stand it, the family cracks and collapses.

2. Children. A significant mass of young people want to have a large number of children, but they do not represent the real difficulties that they face, and are not ready to overcome all the difficulties of upbringing and "feeding" their children morally.

3. Material well-being. At all times, a "correct", profitable marriage gave an opportunity to move up the career ladder, allowed to achieve financial well-being, gave stability. But behind the facade of a secure life there are always such unpleasant moments as the lack of common interests of the spouses, mutual rejection, unwillingness to sacrifice themselves for the sake of another.

4. Falling in love and the desire for love. Romantic ideas of young people, often formed on the basis of information myths broadcast by modern media, obscure the real state of affairs in a standard family. Traditional images of love and the separation of the concepts of "love" and "falling in love", as well as misunderstanding of the correct patterns of behavior, often leads to the collapse of a nascent family that is not even legally registered. E. V. Shestun spoke very succinctly on this issue: "despite the variety of information broadcast by the mass media about the variability of the ways of the relationship of the sexes and the construction of marriage and family relations, all of it eventually builds up in a range of pro- and anti-family values and stereotypes that inevitably affect the formation of family consciousness of young people actively involved in information flows" ^[16].

Goals for which spouses have children:

1. It is accepted in society. I want to be like everyone else. The social orientation of parents can play a cruel joke with them, since love and patience are at the heart of marriage, and not the fulfillment of any attitudes embedded in a person's worldview.

2. They are cute. Emotional reinforcement of childbearing is important, and quite commendable, but in about a third of cases, respondents who gave such an answer to the question of a teacher-psychologist did not know how to treat a child or what to do with him next. It is also noteworthy that among young men, about a quarter of the respondents did not share the "tenderness" of their female colleagues.

3. They will ensure our old age. The pragmatic point of view on childbearing is not without meaning, but it is fraught with a spiritual "time bomb", since it is unknown how a person will behave if a grown child behaves contrary to the expectations of a parent.

4. This is our duty to our relatives. Such an answer was given by a significant number of respondents who did not fully understand the essence of marriage, but desired it at the insistence of their parents or their inner circle.

5. This is a natural process and the result of marriage. This opinion of the respondents was largely widespread, biologically consistent, but not due to a value attitude.

Reasons why mothers don't want to have children:

1. Financial difficulties. Women of the XXI century, quite emancipated and feminized, often choose a career instead of motherhood.

2. Feeling of unavailability. A person can never be completely ready for the appearance of a child. This view is typical for people who are "infected" with information myths about motherhood, or those people who do not want children for other reasons hide behind them.

3. Postponing for later. Then it may not come. Many career women reach the age of thirty "with a very long tail", and then it is physically and mentally difficult for them to give birth and raise their child.

Reasons why Fathers don't want to have children:

1. The fear of men becoming fathers. Many subjects could not admit that in reality it is difficult for them to change the social role of a boy to the role of a male father. This was largely due to the environment in which the young men were brought up. Those who were raised by one mother (incomplete orphans) more often gave exactly such answers.

2. Men's dislike of children. Again, these answers were given by "victims of information propaganda", young people who did not know the joy of fatherhood.

3. Loss of beauty by a woman. More than a third of the subjects noted this fact as having a decisive significance for them. The value gradation of such people is surprising, when they were ready to exchange an insignificant physical attractiveness for a human life.

4. Psychological inconveniences. Restriction of personal space. The restructuring of their entire lives to a new way of life was also frightening for about a quarter of the respondents. The severity of life that they saw in other families often frightened young people, pushed them away from the "reproductive program".

Reasons why spouses do not want to have more children:

1. Financial difficulties. This argument is solid, but unconvincing. About a third of the men tested showed no desire to expand their material capabilities, which was due to banal laziness. They did not see any prospects for themselves to work at the limit of their strength, they were satisfied with the existing state of things.

2. There are already enough children born. Many believe that their childbearing program has been completed. They try on the role of the giver of life for themselves, believing that there must be some limit in this process.

3. Lack of support from relatives. The younger generation needlessly thinks that someone owes them something. Many future family members believe that they are in difficult conditions, much more difficult than those in which their grandfathers and great-grandfathers were during the Second World War.

We note an important idea expressed by I. F. Andresyan: "the first step in the formation of universal values is the education of moral principles in the family. Including through the study of their pedigree. Without respect for the ancestors, without knowledge of the history of a kind, a person turns into the one they say about: without a kind, without a tribe. Studying the history of his family, a person should not forget, of course, about the history of a large family – a nation, a country. The decline in interest in the past of the family, the clan, and ultimately the Motherland in the age of information technology is due to the weakening of spiritual ties between generations" ^[2].

Conclusion

Most people live with the flow. Measured and not in a hurry. They do not think about their personal contribution to the power of the Fatherland. Meanwhile, the fate of the Motherland forces us to fight and survive. For the development and very existence of Russia, from its vast territory, it needs at least 200 million citizens. Today in our country there is a catastrophic tendency to reduce the quality and quantity of human material. Historically, the First World War and the Civil War, as well as emigration, claimed the lives of more than 15 million citizens. If not for these losses, then, taking into account their unborn descendants, today only the population within the borders of the former USSR would be about 300 million.

The Second World War and Stalin's repressions claimed the lives of more than 30 million citizens, if not for these events, then, taking into account their unborn descendants, there could have been about 400 million of us! Such a number would be enough for the development of Russia, but this is not an optimistic forecast, so D.I. Mendeleev calculated that in the case of the harmonious development of our country, the population of Russia should have been about 400 million by the end of the 20th century. A big blow to the Russian world throughout the 20th century was the powerful Russophobic campaign and anti-assimilation tendencies towards Russian civilization.

For the sake of correcting the current trend, we and our children, and most likely even our grandchildren, need not just to "tighten our belts tighter", but to live on the edge of human strength and capabilities: "life, even the hardest, is the most beautiful, wonderful and mysterious treasure in the world; the fulfillment of duty is another wonderful thing that makes a happy life that gives the soul invincible strength in the struggle for ideals; cruelty, hatred and injustice cannot and will never be able to create anything worthy mentally, morally or materially" ^[9]. All means and efforts should be spent on the birth, upbringing and education of their children and themselves. Only thanks to this will the power of the Motherland grow, and a different point of view is sabotage and betrayal.

Our Fatherland, of course, needs not only an increase in the number of citizens, or the level of their education and material security, but the formation of their spiritual and moral values, and above all a sense of patriotism.

A sense of patriotism is born in the family. A child asks an adult questions about the country, state, nation, culture, society. And the answers received are an indisputable authority for him. Therefore, if parents are patriots, then so will their children. The views of A. N. Ostrogorsky are indicative in this regard. In his pedagogical writings, he wrote: "The soul of a child feeds on the impressions received in the family. Here the child learns to love, hate, gets used to work or idleness, gets the first... aesthetic tastes, all his interests, affections and authorities are initially concentrated here" ^[7].

What does the pedagogical system need to do to foster in people the love of family, the desire of people to have more children? We propose the following measures that contribute to the formation of a family-type sense of patriotism and spiritual and moral values:

1. Pay attention to the loss of the meaning of the sin of debauchery, as the loss of the instinct of self-preservation. In the process of education, pay attention to the special place of the tradition of Orthodoxy as a factor ensuring the chastity of the younger generation. Attention should be paid to instilling immunity to the prodigal passion as a way of survival of our country. Fornication is the cause of infanticide, a reduction in the birth rate, and the destruction of the family. A powerful weapon in the hands of information warfare. Therefore, attention should be focused on the consequences of a prodigal relationship before marriage.

2. It is important to dispel the myth: "to breed poverty" and to show the importance and necessity of having many children, both in raising a family and in solving the demographic problem of the country. It is necessary to focus on the fight against the current tragedy concerning everyone, and the need to change the way of life in accordance with spiritual values.

3. It should be justified that the need to have many children is connected with the happiness of each family and person, as well as with the successful withdrawal of the country from the demographic crisis. At the same time, special attention should be paid to the fact that a large family is an environment for educating competitively capable, adapted to life, responsive people, and incapacitated egoists. Pedagogy here is the key to the future of Russia. As academician N. D. Nikandrov notes: "the influence of the relevant texts - we remember the broad understanding of the text - is very serious. It slowly but steadily erodes the moral image of citizens, forming values such as: - anti-patriotism and loss of a sense of Homeland; - disrespect for the authorities, the army and law enforcement agencies in general; - nationalism in its various forms; - the growth of self-serving and violent crime; - indifference or active hostility to people, cruelty to them; - the spread of alcoholism and drug addiction; - aggravation of the problem of fathers and children, disrespect for the outgoing and departed generations; - indifference to the creation of a family, promiscuity, trial marriages, social orphanhood, the growth of prostitution as the main or secondary classes; - primitivization of cultural needs and interests with a corresponding reverse influence on culture on the part of its consumers" ^[6].

4. It is important to show people the connection of family with patriotism. If you don't love your family, you don't love your homeland, this should be a clear and understandable thesis of traditionalism for everyone. "Loyalty is formed, first of all, in the family, when a child learns to honor his father and mother, when a young man learns to honor a mentor, and an adult learns the power placed over him. In the ability to take one's place in the hierarchy of the world and in this place to fulfill one's duty, to serve one's neighbor, the type of loyal personality develops" ^[14].

5. The improvement of methods and technologies for the formation of a sense of patriotism and the spiritual and moral sphere of the individual is one of the main priority areas of pedagogy. For young people, it is necessary to offer such ways of forming their worldview that will be most interesting for them. Such are today: quests, trainings, computer games. Here A.V. Leontovich and his co-authors draw attention to the fact that "in the game there is an awakening of moral feeling, internal spiritual work is carried out, which allows you to become a developed personality in the future" ^[5].

6. Through the activities of influential public organizations, such as the church, as well as by influencing significant others, during a personal conversation with young people, it is possible to involve them in the system of patriotic education, the development of stable positive spiritual and moral views of the future generation, and its value-oriented attitudes that contribute to the formation of ideas about the importance of the family and the rules its construction.

A person's awareness of personal importance and responsibility for the fate of the Fatherland is the basis of the family-household type of feeling of patriotism, one of the varieties of the psychological and pedagogical phenomenon we are studying.