Relationship with Mother and Satisfaction with Motherhood of Middle-Aged Women

Mordas Ekaterina Sergeevna PhD in Psychology Associate Professor at Moscow Institute of Psychoanalysis 121170, Russia, g. Moscow, ul. Kutuzovskii Prospekt, d.34, str.14 morkaty@yandex.ru Other publications by this author

Demidova Aleksandra Mikhailovna Master of Psychology, Consultant psychologist, Private psychological practice. 121170, Russia, Moscow, Kutuzovsky Prospekt str., 34, p. 14 sivillia@gmail.com

In modern psychological research, motherhood is considered as a stage of gender, age and personal identification of a woman. The history of a woman's development, socio-cultural factors contribute to the formation of attitudes towards motherhood. It is noted that motherhood is a stage of development and all previous experience of a woman's development and relationships contributes or does not contribute to the opportunity to become a mother ^[6]. Winnicott D. believes that a woman's ability to "be a good enough mother" develops primarily on the basis of her experience of interacting with her mother, and only then in games and other interactions with young children in childhood, as well as in the process of her own pregnancy and motherhood ^[2].

The nature of the mother-daughter relationship affects the formation of an adult daughter's attitude to her child, to the interpretation of her maternal role, as well as to the perception of motherhood in general ^{[1; 3, 4, 6, 8, 9, 11]}.

Pines D. emphasizes the special importance in the individual ontogenesis of motherhood of the infancy period as the primary stage of Ego formation, when the mother is a nurturing environment for the child. Physical and emotional contact with the mother is introjected by the girl, including a sense of mutual bodily satisfaction and well-being. The lack of a sense of satisfaction at this stage leaves an irreplaceable basal gap, which can forever affect the image of a woman's own self, with the feeling of herself as not satisfying either herself or others, even if adult experience diverges from this image. In adolescence, the attitude of the girl's mother towards herself and her partner affects the separation and individuation of her daughter. Here, the mother's satisfaction with her body and her relationship with her husband provides the girl with an object for identification and internalization, which means it makes it possible for her to build a satisfying relationship in the future ^[5]. Savina E.A. identifies several groups of factors that determine parental attitudes in women. In addition to the socio-cultural, motivational, need-based and personal characteristics of the mother and child, a significant role is assigned to attempts to compensate for the current mother's own negative childhood experience in parenthood. Moreover, unconsciously copying patterns of behavior of elders in the parental family, a woman associates herself with her mother and then reproduces her models of relationships within her own family ^[7].

Filippova G.G. highlights the interaction of a woman with her own mother as the most important, first and longest stage in the formation of the maternal need-motivation sphere. This stage covers almost the entire life of a woman, starting from the prenatal period, and affects her maternal sphere until the end of her life. The quality of the daughter-mother relationship is determined by attachment, the style of emotional contact, and the emotional accompaniment of the mother at all stages of the daughter's growing up. It is noted that in this process, the satisfaction of the mother herself with her motherhood is of great importance ^[10].

Zakharova E.I. notes that during the waiting period and the birth of a child, a woman's need to actualize relations with her mother especially increases ^[3]. The nature of these relationships largely determines how difficult it will be for a woman to master motherhood. A positive attitude towards her own mother and a safe type of attachment allows her daughter to accept the experience gained from interacting with her as a model for building her model of motherhood. This attitude gives the daughter confidence in her abilities, reduces the tendency to stress and depression on the way to mastering her motherhood. On the contrary, conflictual relationships, incomplete separation and an unsafe type of attachment can become an obstacle to mastering the maternal role and becoming a maternal identity. Research shows that fragile attachment tends to be transmitted through the maternal-daughter line in the family (transgenerational transmission of maternal conflicts, attachments).

The results of the Uddenberg, N. study indicate that women can assimilate inadequate patterns of reproductive adaptation from their mothers, and thus difficulties are transmitted from parents to offspring ^[11].

The connection between the relationship with the mother and subsequent deviant motherhood is traced by Brutman V.I., Varga A.Ya. and Khamitova I.Yu. ^[1]. The authors' study showed that the reasons for deviant maternal behavior and rejection of a child lie in the fact that women in labor were rejected by their own mothers. This creates an emotional dependence on the mother, and does not allow the woman to go through the normal stages: first, identification, and then emotional separation from the mother, which is necessary for mastering the maternal role and forming an optimal attitude towards motherhood.

Thus, the attachment style, the emotional mother-daughter relationship are reproduced in transgenerational transmission, including the style of emotional support, the value of the child and the value of motherhood, forming similar patterns of satisfaction with motherhood in daughters.

The results of the research

The study involved 52 women aged 29-55 years old with 1 to 3 minor children. Socio-demographic characteristics of the studied: 77% of the mothers tested are married, 23% are not in a relationship; 98% of the participants have higher education; all participants indicated well-being as average and higher. In the family of the parents: 79% of the participants were raised in a full-fledged family; sibling status: 50% of the subjects were the eldest sister in the family, 17% the only daughter, 33% the youngest child. 12% of the subjects currently live with their mother. The analysis revealed the homogeneity of the sample in terms of education, financial status and social status of the participants.

Research methods:

1 Questionnaire with socio-biographical data

2 Questionnaire of satisfaction with motherhood (Zakharova E.I. and Kalacheva N.Yu.)

3 Questionnaire of attachment to close people (N.V.Sabelnikova)

4 Questionnaire of psychological separation (Dzukaeva V.P. and Sadovnikova T.Yu., adaptation of the Hoffman questionnaire D.A. - Psychological Separation Inventory, PSI)

5 The projective technique "Unfinished sentences" (modified test of Sachs D.M. and Levi S. - Sacks Sentence Completion test, SSCT)

6 The projective technique of the "Relationship Color test" (Etkind A.M.)

To identify statistically significant correlations between indicators of satisfaction with motherhood, attachment and psychological separation, the r-Pearson correlation coefficient was used; the normality of the distribution of data on different scales was checked using the Kolmogorov-Smirnov criterion. Statistical indicators were calculated using the IBM SPSS Statistics statistical package, version 21.

In the course of an empirical study, a diagnosis of the attitude to their own motherhood in middle-aged women was made using a combination of three methods: the questionnaire "Satisfaction with motherhood" by E.I. Zakharova, the projective technique "Unfinished sentences" and the projective technique "Color Relationship Test (CTO)".

As a result of the use of the questionnaire by E.I. Zakharova, data were obtained on the degree of satisfaction of the subjects with their motherhood. The graph of the distribution of subjects according to the degree of satisfaction with their motherhood is shown in Fig.1.

Fig.1. Distribution of subjects by degree of satisfaction with motherhood

To assess the probability that our sample belongs to a general population with a normal distribution, the Kolmogorov-Smirnov normality criterion was applied. The estimated probability of Asymptotic Sig. (2-tailed) = 0.838 > 0.05, which allowed us to conclude that the distribution we obtained approximately corresponds to the normal one.

The results of the survey on overall satisfaction with motherhood were systematized and grouped to identify three levels of satisfaction: low (satisfaction below 50%), medium (from 50% to 75%) and high (satisfaction over 75%). The analysis of the data showed that according to the survey methodology reflecting the verbalized and conscious attitude of women to various aspects of motherhood, the majority of subjects demonstrate high (54%) and average (40%) indicators of satisfaction with motherhood, and only a small part (6%) demonstrates low satisfaction.

The study of satisfaction with motherhood using projective techniques made it possible to clarify not only the conscious, but also the unconscious attitudes of women towards their motherhood. A qualitative analysis of the results obtained as a result of the "Unfinished Sentences" technique and the "Relationship Color Test" was carried out. Based on the results of the interpretation of verbal assessments and color associations, formalized indicators (in points) were derived, reflecting women's subconscious feelings in the field of satisfaction with their motherhood. The classification of the results of a comparative analysis of these indicators allowed us to deduce three styles of attitude towards one's own motherhood: a positive, negative and ambivalent attitude. When the results of both methods showed a positive or negative assessment, the corresponding positive or negative attitude of the woman towards her motherhood was confirmed. In cases where the analysis revealed an opposite attitude based on the results of verbalized and non-verbal assessment methods, an ambivalent attitude of a woman towards her motherhood was diagnosed.

An analysis of the results of the study on the styles of attitude to one's own motherhood, revealed using projective techniques, showed that only 62% of the subjects had a consistently positive perception of their motherhood, 21% demonstrated an ambivalent attitude (they revealed diametrically opposite perceptions based on the results of verbal and non-verbal techniques), and the remaining 17% were diagnosed with a negative attitude.

Evaluation of attachment data. As a result of the application of the attachment questionnaire by Sabelnikova N.V. ^[38], data were obtained on the individual levels of avoidance and anxiety of the subjects in the attachment relationship with their mother. The obtained level of severity of indicators on the scales of avoidance and anxiety allowed the participants to be divided into four attachment styles in accordance with a two-factor model of individual differences in adult attachment: reliable, avoidant-rejecting (detached), anxious-anxious (dependent) and avoidant-fearful.

An analysis of the results shows that slightly more than half of the women tested (54%) demonstrate a reliable attachment style characterized by low levels of avoidance and low levels of anxiety in adult relationships with their mother. The second largest group was women with a detached attachment style (38%); it is also called avoidant-rejecting, because it is expressed in high rates of avoidance with low anxiety in the relationship. Equally small (4% each) were the attachment styles of anxiety-anxious (or dependent: high anxiety with low relationship avoidance) and avoidant-fearful (high anxiety and relationship avoidance).

Next, an analysis of the results obtained separately for each of the scales was carried out: avoidance and anxiety in attachment relationships. The graph of the frequency distribution of data on the attachment Avoidance scale is shown in Fig. 2.

Comments on: The Attachment Avoidance scale is presented in fractions of a whole, where 1.00 = 100%.

Fig. 2. Distribution of subjects according to the degree of avoidance of attachment with the mother

The application of the Kolmogorov-Smirnov normality criterion for the attachment Avoidance scale showed that Asymptotic Sig. (2-tailed) = 0,432 > 0,05. Thus, the distribution on the Avoidance scale does not differ significantly from the normal one.

Similarly, the application of the Kolmogorov-Smirnov normality criterion for the Anxiety scale in attachment relationships showed that Asymptotic Sig. (2-tailed) = 0.514 > 0.05, that is, the distribution on the Anxiety scale does not differ significantly from the normal distribution. A graph of the frequency distribution of data on the Attachment Anxiety scale is shown in Fig. 3.

Comment: The Attachment Anxiety scale is presented in fractions of a whole, where 1.00 = 100%.

Fig. 3. Distribution of subjects according to the degree of anxiety in the relationship of attachment with the mother

To assess the possible relationship between maternal satisfaction (according to the questionnaire data) and the level of avoidance and anxiety in attachment relationships, first of all, correlation graphs of two-dimensional scattering were constructed. Visual analysis of the scatter plots in Fig. 4 and Fig. 5 revealed descending trend lines on each of them and allowed us to assume that there is a negative correlation in both cases: between satisfaction with motherhood and the level of avoidance in attachment relationships and between satisfaction with motherhood and the level of anxiety in attachment relationships.

Fig. 4. The graph of dispersion of indicators of satisfaction with motherhood and attachment on the avoidance scale

Fig. 5. The graph of dispersion of indicators of satisfaction with motherhood and attachment on the anxiety scale

To identify statistically significant relationships, paired r-Pearson correlations were calculated for indicators on three scales: satisfaction with motherhood, attachment on the avoidance scale and attachment on the anxiety scale. The conditions for the use of r-Pearson are met, namely, all three scales under study are interval scales, and the data distribution does not differ significantly from the normal distribution for all three variables (as shown above).

Table 2

Pearson pair correlation coefficients between maternal satisfaction and attachment scales

.

Analysis of the calculated data confirmed a statistically significant negative correlation between maternal satisfaction and the Avoidance scale in attachment relationships with a Pearson correlation coefficient of r = -0.282; p = 0.043 < 0.05. That is, a lower level of avoidance in an attachment relationship with a mother corresponds to a higher level of satisfaction with motherhood.

Similarly, a statistically significant negative correlation was confirmed between maternal satisfaction and the anxiety scale in attachment relationships with a Pearson correlation coefficient of r = -0.276; p = 0.047 < 0.05. That is, a lower level of anxiety in the attachment relationship with the mother corresponds to a higher level of satisfaction with motherhood.

Evaluation of data on psychological separation. As a result of the application of the D.A. Hoffman psychological separation questionnaire, empirical data were obtained on the psychological independence of women from their mother on four scales: functional, emotional, conflict independence and relationship independence (attitude), as well as data on the general level of psychological separation from the mother.

The Kolmogorov-Smirnov criterion was applied to assess the normality of the distribution for each scale.

The overall independence of the Asymptotic Sig. (2-tailed) = 0,869 > 0,05. The distribution does not differ significantly from the normal one.

Separately, for all four component scales, the distribution also does not differ significantly from normal:

- functional independence of the Asymptotic Sig. (2-tailed) = 0,326 > 0,05

- emotional independence of the Asymptotic Sig. (2-tailed) = 0,356 > 0,05

- conflict independence of the Asymptotic Sig. (2-tailed) = 0,703 > 0,05

- independence of the Asymptotic Sig relationship. (2-tailed) = 0,869 > 0,05.

To identify statistically significant relationships, the paired r-Pearson correlations between maternal satisfaction and each scale of psychological independence were calculated. The conditions for the use of r-Pearson are met, all the scales under study are interval, and the data distribution does not differ significantly from the normal distribution for all variables.

Table 3

Pearson pair correlation coefficients between maternal satisfaction and independence scales

The analysis of the correlation matrix revealed a statistically significant positive correlation between Maternal Satisfaction and the Conflict independence scale with Pearson correlation coefficient r = 0.338; p = 0.014 < 0.05. That is, a higher level of conflict independence of a woman in her relationship with her mother, freedom from excessive feelings of guilt, anxiety, distrust, responsibility, inhibition, resentment and anger towards parents corresponds to a higher level of satisfaction with motherhood.

A statistically significant negative correlation was found between maternal Satisfaction and the Relationship independence scale with a Pearson correlation coefficient of r = -0.352; p = 0.05. That is, a lower independence of the relationship, which means a woman's greater agreement with her mother in relation to various aspects of life, corresponds to a higher level of satisfaction with motherhood. There were no statistically significant correlations on other independence scales.

Evaluation of data on the attitude towards the mother. The nature of women's attitude to their own mother was studied comprehensively using two projective techniques: "Unfinished sentences" and "Relationship Color Test", which allowed us to evaluate the conscious and unconscious attitudes of women in relationships with their mother. Based on the results of a qualitative analysis of the results and subsequent interpretation of verbal assessments and color associations, formalized indicators (in points) reflecting the complex attitude of women to their mother were determined. The classification of the results of the comparative analysis of these indicators allowed us to deduce three styles of women's attitude towards their own mother: positive, negative and ambivalent attitude. When the results of both methods showed a positive or negative assessment, the corresponding positive or negative attitude of the woman towards her mother was confirmed. In cases where the analysis revealed an opposite attitude based on the results of verbalized and nonverbal assessment methods, an ambivalent attitude of a woman towards her own mother was diagnosed.

The analysis of the distribution of subjects according to the selected styles of attitude towards the mother, obtained as a result of a comprehensive assessment of the results of projective techniques, shows that among the subjects the most often revealed negative (41%), less often positive (33%) and ambivalent (26%) attitude towards the mother.

To identify a possible relationship between satisfaction with motherhood and a woman's attitude towards her own mother, the ratio of levels of satisfaction with motherhood obtained as a result of processing data from the survey method and styles of attitude towards mother obtained through qualitative analysis of data from projective techniques was studied.

Figure 6 shows the distribution of subjects with high, medium and low satisfaction with motherhood according to the types of revealed attitude towards their mother: positive, ambivalent or negative. The analysis of the data shown in Fig. 6 shows that in groups of women with a high and medium degree of satisfaction with motherhood, all kinds of attitudes towards the mother are quite common: both positive, ambivalent and negative. However, in the group with low satisfaction with motherhood, only a negative attitude towards the mother is found.

Fig. 6. Distribution of subjects with different levels of satisfaction with motherhood by styles of attitude towards the mother

As a general hypothesis of our study, we assumed that a woman's level of satisfaction with her motherhood is interrelated with the nature of a woman's attitude towards her own mother. To test the hypothesis, first of all, the data obtained on the level of satisfaction with motherhood among the sample participants were analyzed. In our study for 52 women aged 29-55, it was found that the absolute majority of participants demonstrate a high and average level of satisfaction with motherhood (54% and 40%, respectively, a total of 94%), and only 6% of respondents experience low satisfaction with their motherhood.

Attachment to the mother. The first particular hypothesis of our study was the assumption that higher rates of satisfaction with their motherhood are characteristic of women with more reliable adult attachment relationships with their own mother. According to the two-factor model of individual differences in adult attachment (used in the questionnaire by Sabelnikova N.V. ^[38]), reliable attachment is characterized by a low level of avoidance and a low level of anxiety in relationships. The results of our study confirmed a statistically significant negative correlation between maternal satisfaction in women and the level of avoidance (r=-0.282; p <0.05) and anxiety (r = -0.276; p < 0.05) in their attachment relationship with their mother. Thus, our private hypothesis has been confirmed. A higher level of satisfaction with motherhood is typical for women who demonstrate a reliable attachment style in adult relationships with their mother, that is, they experience the least discomfort from psychological intimacy with her, which means they avoid contact less, and also feel less anxiety about possible rejection by their mother.

Separation from the mother. As a second partial hypothesis, we assumed that the degree of psychological separation of an adult woman from her mother is interrelated with the level of satisfaction from her own motherhood. The results of our study partially confirm this hypothesis. Of the four scales of psychological separation components, a statistically significant correlation with maternal satisfaction was confirmed for two components - for the scale of conflict independence and the scale of relationship independence (attitude independence).

Thus, it was found that higher conflict independence in adult relationships with the mother, characterized by freedom from excessive responsibility, guilt, anxiety, distrust, responsibility, resentment and anger towards the mother, is more common in women with a higher level of satisfaction with their motherhood (r = 0.338; p < 0.05). On the other hand, a higher level of attitude independence, when a woman has a more pronounced divergence of views with her mother on various aspects of life, is found in women who are less satisfied with their parenting (r = -0.352; p < 0.05). Both components — conflict and attitude independence — are important for the successful psychological separation of adults, however, our study shows that their correlation with satisfaction with motherhood is multidirectional. For the other two components: emotional (independence from parental approval or lack thereof) and functional independence (ability to provide for oneself), contrary to our assumption, a statistically significant relationship with satisfaction with motherhood has not been confirmed.

The nature of the relationship with the mother.As a third partial hypothesis, we suggested that a low degree of satisfaction with their motherhood is more common in women who have a negatively colored relationship with their own mother. The results of our study confirm this hypothesis. Data analysis shows that in the group of participants with low satisfaction with motherhood (the smallest, 6% of participants), only a negative attitude towards the mother is found, which speaks in favor of our hypothesis. However, it should be noted that among the entire sample of subjects, negative attitudes towards the mother were also most common (41%), and less often positive (33%) or ambivalent (26%). These indicators do not allow us to speak with confidence about any significant pattern in the attitude towards the child's grandmother and satisfaction with their own motherhood among women.

The result of this study, where women with low satisfaction with motherhood did not show a positive or ambivalent attitude towards their mother, but only a negative one, deserves consideration. It can be assumed that such women's dissatisfaction with their parenting is in some way connected with their dissatisfaction with their own mother. Thus, our private hypothesis has been confirmed. Extremely low satisfaction with motherhood is really found only in a group of women with a negative attitude towards their own mother. However, it is much more common among the participants to find average and high satisfaction with motherhood, both in the group with negative and in groups with ambivalent and positive attitudes towards the mother, which does not allow us to conclude about the general correlation between emotional attitude towards the mother and the degree of satisfaction with one's own motherhood.

The general hypothesis. Let's return to our general hypothesis about the relationship between the level of satisfaction with motherhood and the nature of a woman's relationship with her own mother. In the course of an empirical study, we examined the daughter-mother relationship through a prism with three facets: the existing style of attachment, the degree of psychological separation, and the emotional and evaluative attitude of the daughter to the mother. And in all three aspects, certain correlations with maternal satisfaction were identified.

In particular, it was found that women with more reliable attachment in adult relationships with their mother experience greater satisfaction from their own motherhood. In terms of indicators of the degree of separation from the mother, higher conflict and lower attitude independence confirmed their correlation with growing satisfaction with motherhood. From the point of view of the emotional and evaluative attitude of a woman to her mother, the relationship could not be traced throughout the sample, however, in women with low satisfaction with motherhood, we identified only a negative attitude style towards their mother. Thus, the general hypothesis was largely confirmed, since a woman's satisfaction with her motherhood is reliably correlated with the style of her attachment to her own mother and the level of conflict and attitude independence from her mother. Also, the lowest satisfaction with motherhood was observed only among women with a negative attitude towards their mother, which opens up opportunities for a more separate study of this area.

Conclusion

The analysis of the level of satisfaction with motherhood among middle-aged women made it possible to identify groups of subjects with high, medium and low levels of satisfaction. A minority of women demonstrate low satisfaction with the results of survey methods.

An additional analysis of women's attitudes towards their own motherhood using projective techniques made it possible to clarify the results of the survey method and identify three styles of attitude: positive, ambivalent and negative. It has been revealed that women are much more likely to express a positive attitude towards their motherhood by responding to a direct survey than this is confirmed by projective methods that allow taking into account a subconscious attitude.

Regarding the attachment style, women with a reliable type of attachment to their mother (which is characterized by a lower level of relationship avoidance and a lower level of anxiety about possible rejection by their mother) revealed a statistically significantly higher level of satisfaction with their motherhood.

Regarding the level of psychological separation, women with high conflict independence in adult relationships with their mother (characterized by freedom from excessive responsibility, guilt and anxiety for her) A statistically significantly higher level of satisfaction with one's motherhood was revealed. Women with a low level of attitude independence from their mother (characterized by greater similarity of views on various aspects of life) also revealed a statistically significantly higher level of satisfaction with their motherhood.

With regard to a woman's emotional and evaluative perception of her mother, it was revealed that low satisfaction with motherhood occurs only in women with a negative attitude towards their own mother, and does not occur in women with an ambivalent or positive attitude. However, women with a negative attitude towards their own mother also have high and average satisfaction with motherhood, which does not allow us to conclude that there is an unambiguous correlation between these categories.

The conclusions made allow us to conclude that the general hypothesis of the study has been confirmed — there is a relationship between the level of satisfaction with motherhood and the nature of a woman's relationship with her own mother.

The private hypotheses of the study were also confirmed: 1) women with a more reliable attachment in adult relationships with their mother have greater satisfaction with their motherhood; 2) the degree of psychological separation from their mother (on separate scales) is interrelated with the level of satisfaction with their own motherhood; 3) a low degree of satisfaction with motherhood is more common in women who have a negative perception of relationships with their mother.