The concept of «politeness» in the context of family relationships

Yergazy Nazerke ORCID: 0000-0003-4346-983X Postgraduate student; Department of General and Russian Linguistics; P. Lumumba Peoples' Friendship University of Russia Miklukho-Maklaya str., 6, Moscow, 117198, Russia naz_erke9898@inbox.ru

Denisenko Vladimir Nikiforovich ORCID: 0000-0001-6021-4068 Doctor of Philology Professor, Head of the Department of General and Russian Linguistics, Faculty of Philology, P. Lumumba Peoples' Friendship University of Russia Miklukho-Maklaya str., 6, office 623, Moscow, 117198, Russia denisenko-vn@rudn.ru

Introduction

Politeness is the maintenance of an optimal balance, a balance between distance and proximity, between formality and familiarity, which is situationally and culturally variable, that is, the point of this balance varies not only depending on the specific communicative context (see ^{[1],[2],[3],[4]}). The category of politeness is an important component of interpersonal communication, contributing to the establishment and maintenance of harmonious relationships, strengthening mutual respect and creating a favorable social environment. This is especially evident in the context of family etiquette and due to the desire to follow the rules and norms of decency of living together. This process is formed throughout human history and is the result of mutual intercultural communication ^{[5, p. 148]}.

The category of politeness is an important part of the specifics of linguistic communication in family communication, but at present it is insufficiently studied in the linguistic and cultural comparative aspect. A comparative study of the evaluative semantics of this category in the context of linguoculturology makes it possible to identify and evaluate the criteria for evaluating politeness in a particular society, as well as to determine the role and place of this ethical category in the system of cultural values of the Russian and Kazakh languages (societies).

The purpose of the study is to analyze the concept of "politeness" in the context of family relations, to identify its significance and manifestations in interpersonal communication of family members, as well as to study the influence of politeness on the quality of interaction and the emotional climate in the family. The work is supposed to consider the cultural and social aspects of politeness, as well as its role in the formation of mutual understanding and maintaining harmony in family relations.

Methods and materials

The research used methods based on the analysis of scientific and practical provisions, conceptual analysis, comparison, comparison, component analysis and statistical data processing. The empirical basis of the study was an associative survey among students of the Patrice Lumumba Peoples' Friendship University of Russia.

The survey collected data on which forms of politeness are considered important and how they affect relationships, and statistical analysis revealed quantitative patterns. The study participants represented different age groups and cultural backgrounds, which helped to compare the perception of politeness in different contexts and deepen understanding of its importance in family relationships.

Results

The empirical study was based on the definition of aspects of the expression of polite communication in family communications among representatives of the Russian linguistic culture against the background of the Kazakh one. The study analyzed various forms of politeness used in family relationships, as well as identified cultural and linguistic features that affect the style of communication in each of the linguistic cultures. An associative survey was conducted, in which 112 Russian respondents and 69 Kazakh respondents (181 students in total) took part.

The questionnaire included an associative attitude to contextual politeness and was created in two languages. The respondents were randomly selected regardless of gender and social status. The main criterion was the presence of family ties and the expression of one's own opinion in the context of the category of politeness.

At the end of the experiment, the following work was carried out:

- the structure of associations is analyzed;

- the frequency of certain associations (percentage of repetitions) was revealed.

The respondents identified their own associations in the category of politeness in relation to family communication. The results of the experiment are shown in Figure 1.

Fig. 1. Respondents' own associations in the category of politeness in relation to family communication

The information obtained makes it possible to trace the similarities and differences in the associative representations of the category of politeness among people of different nationalities. In any language, the substantive components of the category of politeness are good manners, respect and honor. It can be seen from the survey results that the highest percentage of coincidences in associations was found when highlighting the welcoming attitude, farewell and respect for elders. The discrepancies were expressed as follows: Kazakh respondents did not name or named to a lesser extent such categories as attentiveness (5%), sympathy (10%), decent behavior (55.7%), farewell (41.3%), mutual assistance (44.5%), good deeds (11%). Russian respondents mentioned traditions (88.1%), hospitality (88.1%), greetings (58.1%), respect for family members (51.3%) and helpfulness (74.4%).

The questionnaire also contained open-ended questions that allowed us to clarify the attitude of representatives of Kazakh and Russian cultures to the manifestation of the category of politeness. Kazakh respondents associate this category with social circle and family relations. For them, maintaining dignity in the eyes of relatives, support, manner of conversation, creating a pleasant impression, mutual respect and status are of particular importance. At the same time, Russian respondents were more likely to name personal characteristics and mental properties without reference to specific types of connection – family, friendly, working. They emphasized kindness, sincerity, dignity, sympathy, smiling, kind eyes and friendliness. That is, in their view, the category of politeness is more related to internal emotional manifestations and sincerity of disposition towards the interlocutor. From the point of view of the respondents, the associations mentioned above reflected a positive attitude towards observing the framework of respect when contacting family members. This is due to the use of associations such as respectful tone, pleasant speech, culture, mutual assistance and dignity.

The last question of the questionnaire allowed us to assess the respondents' behavior towards other people, especially if they have family ties. Kazakh respondents noted that, first of all, it is necessary to be courteous in communicating with relatives of different ages and social status. Russian respondents, in addition to respectful communication with relatives, also noted the need to be polite to people with an authoritative position in society. According to Russian respondents, more polite communication should be observed when communicating with managers and employers (74%), as well as older family members (26%). At the same time, Kazakh respondents did not share kinship ties by age and type.

The conducted research has shown that the expression of the category of politeness in family communication has its own peculiarities among representatives of Kazakh and Russian cultures. In Kazakh culture, politeness is more often associated with hospitality and respect for elders, whereas in Russian culture, qualities such as sociability, sincerity, benevolence and sincerity stand out. Most of the associative components have a positive character, which emphasizes the importance of polite communication in family and social contexts. The main components of the associative series of the politeness category are as follows:

- in Kazakh: hospitality (24.3%), respect for elders (28.1%);

- in Russian: sociability (greeting – 58.1%), sincerity (sympathy – 30%).

Russian respondents emphasize the need to maintain a polite tone when communicating with people of higher status and older relatives. Kazakh respondents emphasize on maintaining polite relations with all family members, especially the elders.

Discussion

In linguistics, the concept of "family communication" has no specific definition and is considered from the point of view of "family dialect" and polite intercultural communication.

As K.N. Sharshenbek notes, positive contextual politeness can be reflected in special speech manifestations in interpersonal communication with "own" and "strangers" people. In family communication, there are often stylistic varieties of language, jargon phrases that can only be understood by close interlocutors, which is a form of expressing a positive attitude or trust. The author also points out that politeness can manifest itself through non-verbal means of communication. Gestures, facial expressions, and even distance between interlocutors play an important role in creating an atmosphere of trust and respect. For example, a friendly touch on the shoulder or a look into the eyes can express support and understanding ^{[6, p. 64]}.

In addition, politeness in family communication includes a willingness to compromise and take into account the interests of other family members. Showing empathy and striving to understand each other's feelings and needs are important components of polite communication. Polite communication also manifests itself in the ability to listen and pay attention to the words and opinions of others, which helps strengthen family ties ^{[7, p. 85]}.

N.G. Bragina and I.A. Sharonov compared the strategies of polite and impolite communication. For example, tactlessness in a conversation between relatives may be humorous and not lead to disappointment, but requires a subsequent explanation of their words. In the event of a conflict, this may become a mechanism for breaking the bond or require the complete subordination of the opponent. The authors concluded that polite communication depends on the nature of interpersonal communication and the previously established type of relationship. The importance of the communication context is also emphasized. Politeness can manifest itself in different ways in different cultures. For example, some cultures value directness, while others value tact and respect. In addition, politeness is considered as a social and psychological phenomenon depending on individual characteristics such as empathy, self-control and self-confidence ^{[8, p. 975]}.

The authors also explore methods for developing polite communication skills, including active listening and emotional intelligence, which helps recognize and manage emotions.

S.A. Risinzon emphasizes that not only the content of what is said plays a key role in family communication, but also tone, intonation, as well as non-verbal signals such as facial expressions and gestures. These elements help to mitigate possible discontent and create an atmosphere of trust and understanding.

Family communication also includes elements of ritual, when certain forms of communication and behavior become habitual and expected. For example, morning greetings, discussing plans for the day, or having family dinners together. These rituals create a sense of stability and security, strengthening family ties.

In addition, the author draws attention to the fact that in family communication it is important to take into account the age and individual characteristics of family members. The way parents communicate with their children may differ significantly from their interactions with each other. Understanding and respecting these differences contribute to harmonious and polite communication in the family ^{[9, p. 29]}.

Thus, the authors came to the conclusion that polite communication depends on the degree and nature of interpersonal communication between opponents, which is completely determined by its previously established type. Politeness is an important aspect of family communication, which uses both verbal and non-verbal means to express respect and trust ^{[10, p. 176]}.

V.V. Leontiev notes that politeness includes not only verbal, but also non-verbal elements of communication. Gestures, facial expressions, intonation, and other non-verbal aspects can significantly influence the perception of politeness (Leontiev, 2012). For example, a smile or a nod of the head can emphasize benevolence and respect, while furrowed eyebrows or a harsh tone can indicate dissatisfaction or irritation, even if the spoken words themselves are polite ^{[11, p. 222]}.

The author also emphasizes that politeness should be sincere and reflect genuine respect for the interlocutor. An ostentatious or fake display of politeness can be easily recognized and lead to distrust and deterioration of relations. Therefore, it is important not only to know and apply the rules of politeness, but also to sincerely strive for respect and understanding of other people ^[12],[13].

Polite communication in the family is a complex process involving both verbal and non-verbal aspects of interaction. It is formed on the basis of mutual understanding, empathy and respect for the individual characteristics of each family member.

Conclusion

Russian Russians and Kazakh respondents in associations related to the category of politeness have both common features (respect and good manners) and differences (Kazakhs emphasize family relationships and traditions, while Russians emphasize personal qualities such as kindness and sincerity). Russian Russians and Kazakh respondents should also note the different attitudes towards the communicative sphere of politeness: for Kazakhs, the circle of communication and dignity are important, while for Russians, communication with reputable personalities is important.

The identified similarities and differences in the implementation of the concept of "politeness" in family communication are of interest for intercultural interaction, as well as for studying and teaching Russian and Kazakh languages in a foreign audience.