Satisfaction with marriage, personality traits of the spouses and the choice of strategies for overcoming family conflicts.

Iakimanskaia Irina ORCID: 0000-0001-7503-9848 PhD in Psychology Associate Professor, Department of Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, Orenburg State Medical University of the Ministry of Health of the Russian Federation 460000, Russia, Orenburg region, Orenburg, ul. Sovetskaya, 6 Yakimanskay@narod.ru Other publications by this author

The family is a unit of society, one of the tasks of the modern social sphere is to help and support Russian families, therefore any research in this area is in demand and is relevant. But, it should be noted that family problems are characterized by sufficient ambiguity and uncertainty. An important research topic in this context is marital satisfaction.

It is generally accepted that marriage and family are preserved if the spouses have a certain level of satisfaction with different aspects of the relationship. Modern publications show that marital satisfaction is studied as a whole, as a general characteristic of marital relations ^[1], but a more popular approach is an attempt to analyze and identify individual factors that form and are associated with marital satisfaction^[2]. It is noted that socio-psychological factors of satisfaction with marriage are the basis for the implementation of support programs for married couples^[3], that they change due to the length of marriage^[4].

Satisfaction with marriage is associated by researchers with the affective component of marital relations – emotional intimacy ^[5], empathy ^[6], mental burnout ^[7], as a dynamic component. It can be assumed that there are aspects of marital relations that reflect the experiences of direct contact, including mechanisms of infection and empathy, which either react to the spouses, or accumulate and become stable states in the marital relationship, affecting overall satisfaction from them.

Another important factor influencing the overall state of satisfaction with marriage are the norms and values of the spouses and the motives, expectations, and readiness for certain actions in marriage formed on their basis.  Attention is paid to the study of the interrelationships of motives for marriage, role representations, expectations and claims ^[8,9], satisfaction with marriage is associated with the consistency of family values^[10], adherence to gender norms^[11], the style of family relations resulting from them (violent-nonviolent) ^[12]. It is noted that this factor is associated not only with marital relations, but also with a broad social context, requires the spouses to make efforts to coordinate attitudes and develop new ones peculiar to their couple.

The factor of interest to us in the context of satisfaction with marriage is the peculiarities of the behavior of spouses in conflict. It refers to the behavioral components of marriage, is studied quite widely – both the general features of interpersonal relations ^[13] and conflict behavior ^[14], methods of resolving and preventing family conflicts ^[15], methods and strategies for their resolution ^[16,17,18] are analyzed. The novelty of our work is associated with an attempt to study the personal characteristics of spouses, accentuations, ways to resolve conflict situations and the level of satisfaction with marriage.

The purpose of the study is to evaluate the peculiarities of the manifestation of satisfaction with marriage, the personal characteristics of the spouses and the choice of ways out of the conflict.

The subject of the study: strategies for overcoming conflict and personality characteristics of spouses with different satisfaction with marriage.

Study sample: The study involved 50 subjects, equally men and women, aged 25-35 years, married for 5-7 years, living in Orenburg. We consider our study as a pilot study, to clarify the overall design of a deeper analysis.

Hypotheses of the study:

We assume that spouses with different levels of satisfaction with marriage differ in the level of severity of accentuations and preferences in choosing ways out of conflict situations, subjects with greater satisfaction with marital relations have less pronounced personality accentuations, choose cooperation and compromise as conflict resolution strategies.

Research methods.

The following methods were used in the research process in accordance with the objectives:

Theoretical: analysis of various aspects of the problem under study, generalization of research results taking into account new facts and specific conditions.

Empirical:  testing method, quantitative and qualitative analysis, comparative analysis, mathematical processing method.

The following methods were used to test the hypotheses put forward:

1. The test questionnaire of satisfaction with marriage, developed by V.V. Stolin, T.L. Romanova, G.P. Butenko, is intended for express diagnosis of the degree of satisfaction with marriage, as well as the degree of agreement-mismatch of satisfaction with marriage in a particular social group.

2. The methodology for diagnosing tactics of behavior in conflict by K. N. Thomas.

In our country, the test was adapted by N.V. Grishina to study personal predisposition to conflict behavior.

3. Assessment of character accentuation according to the Shmishek method.

The test is designed to analyze the structure of personality and assess the severity of personality traits.

As a result of the study of the level of satisfaction with marriage in the study sample, the following data were obtained:

26 subjects have a high level of satisfaction with marriage - 52%, 

24 subjects had a low level of satisfaction with marriage – 48%.

Thus, it can be noted that the sample turned out to be relatively balanced in terms of the studied variable.  

Table 1. Comparative results of character accentuations in the studied groups (in %).

Due to the small sample size for a large number of variables using the Schmischek method, we limited ourselves to a qualitative analysis of the differences found.  It allows us to conclude that in spouses with a low level of satisfaction with marriage, the frequency of cases of severity of character accentuation types exceeds the frequency of cases in subjects with a high level of satisfaction with marriage (Table 1).

Dissatisfaction with marriage, conflicts inevitably lead to changes in the behavior and character of the spouses. The consequences of "dissatisfaction" are found as a decompensating factor with obvious character accentuations. In addition, it should be noted that it is difficult to judge whether the accentuation found is a consequence of low satisfaction and conflict in marriage, or whether it was characteristic of the subjects before marriage. This issue can serve as a direction for further research. According to the results, it is also possible to note the relative severity of affective types of accentuations – hyperthymic, anxious, emotive in the group of subjects with low satisfaction with marriage, which may indicate the presence of non–equilibrium states, and the demonstrative type may be a form of their compensation - through following strict rules in order to obtain a guarantee of successful resolution of conflict situations. This assumption also needs to be verified.

Table 2. The results of the preferences of the strategy for overcoming conflict situations among spouses with a high level of satisfaction with marriage (in %).

Based on the data obtained (Table 2), it can be assumed that spouses with a high level of satisfaction with marriage have a tendency to resolve conflicts through such strategies as cooperation and compromise. It is believed that cooperation is the only way when the conflict is really resolved.

Spouses with a high level of satisfaction with marriage strive to overcome the conflict, not to get out of it. Spouses who are satisfied with their marriage apply a joint search for a solution that satisfies the interests of both parties. The cooperating person determines the needs of the participants, tries to satisfy them, recognizes the values of others, as well as his own, objectively separates the problem from the personality, looks for extraordinary solutions, does not spare the problem, spares people. Therefore, cooperation is the most appropriate way to resolve the conflict.

It should also be noted that the values for the "Rivalry" strategy are relatively low and relatively high for the "Avoidance" and "Adaptation" strategies, that is, the behavior in conflict among our subjects is diverse, both constructive and destructive strategies are expressed, spouses tend, in addition to the contract, to postpone contact with the conflict, or abandon their own priorities. Direct confrontational strategies are relatively rarely used, which can lead to the accumulation of negative and disequilibrium even in families satisfied with marriage, with an increase in the length of marriage. This trend can serve as a direction for further research.

Table 3. The results of the preferences of the strategy for overcoming conflict situations among spouses with a low level of satisfaction with marriage (in %).

It is obvious that the preferred tactics of behavior in conflict situations in subjects with a low level of satisfaction with marriage are adaptation, avoidance and rivalry (Table 3).

Spouses with a low level of satisfaction with marriage seek a way out of a conflict situation, rather than a constructive solution.

The device cannot endlessly save the situation, but occasionally and for more than one reason it allows you to relieve tension in a relationship.

Avoidance only transfers the conflict to the near future, when it may flare up again: after all, the object of discontent has not been eliminated, the conflicting parties simply "postponed the party." Therefore, this outcome is not very good, it leaves the problem for tomorrow. Moreover, the constant postponement of conflict resolution creates a "snowball" effect, which grows, accumulating resentments and ambiguities in the relationship.

Rivalry is an unfavorable and unproductive outcome of a conflict when none of the participants takes into account the position or opinion of the other. Such an outcome usually occurs when one of the parties has accumulated enough minor grievances and put forward the strongest arguments that the other side will not be able to remove.

In addition, it should be noted the relative monotony of conflict resolution strategies, focusing more on destruction in marital relations. Thus, a kind of vicious circle arises when destructive and monotonous strategies contribute to a decrease in marital satisfaction, and reduced satisfaction prevents the choice of constructive response strategies. This assumption may also be the basis for further research.

A comparative analysis of the results obtained allows us to indicate that spouses who are satisfied with their marriage seek to resolve the conflict by more constructive methods. A constructive solution is a solution that will ensure the maximum realization of the interests of both parties, i.e. the needs of both spouses are met. And satisfaction of needs ensures an optimal level of satisfaction with marriage.

The study of the reliability of differences in indicators between groups with high and low levels of satisfaction with marriage according to the Mann–Whitney U-criterion at p<0.05 and p<0.01 showed that there are statistically significant differences in the following indicators - cooperation, compromise, rivalry - Uemp ? Ucr, p ? 0.01. The strategy of adaptation and avoidance turned out to be unrelated to marital satisfaction.

Thus, our assumption that spouses with different levels of satisfaction with marriage differ in the level of severity of accentuations and preferences in choosing ways out of conflict situations, subjects with greater satisfaction with marital relations have less pronounced personality accentuations, choose cooperation and compromise as conflict resolution strategies has been confirmed. We have found several directions for deepening and expanding research work – an analysis of the interrelationships of personality traits, the severity of accentuations in different groups (differing in the level of satisfaction with marriage), strategies and dynamics of satisfaction with marriage with increasing length of service,