Ontological foundations of motherhood

Mordas Ekaterina Sergeevna PhD in Psychology Associate Professor at Moscow Institute of Psychoanalysis 121170, Russia, g. Moscow, ul. Kutuzovskii Prospekt, d.34, str.14 morkaty@yandex.ru Other publications by this author

The problems of motherhood and its disorders are presented in various sciences (medicine, philosophy, psychology, sociology, history).  Let's present the problems of motherhood in the aspect of social ontology, applying the ideas of N.S. Rozov about the spheres of socio-historical existence on the example of a mother woman, infertility. 

Motherhood is "the biological state of a female mother," as well as "the creation of a kinship bond with her children peculiar to a mother." Motherhood is procreation, fertility (the phenomenon has a biological, social, psychological, cultural and religious meaning).

The mother is the parent who gave birth (the mother may be biological, adoptive, surrogate, a refusenik mother (gave birth and refused; child-free).

Pregnancy is the condition of a woman during the development of an embryo or fetus in the body. The process of carrying a fetus by a woman in conjunction with the changes taking place in her body. It includes a period starting from fertilization of an egg and ending with the birth of a child. Anatomical and physiological changes in a woman's body during pregnancy are aimed at ensuring nutrition and fetal development and affect every organ of the body.

Infertility – inability to motherhood on a physical and psychological level, including social aspects; inability to produce offspring; infertility, infertility.

We proceed from the key idea that motherhood and infertility are a reflection on a woman's body of the history of her individual life, social processes, starting with the history of relationships in the family and society as a whole.

The theoretical and methodological foundations of the work are the following ideas: psychoanalytic approach - Z. Freud, G. Bibring, J. Kestenberg, H. Deutsch, R. Stoller, T. F. Tysons, D. Pines, M. Klein, D. Winnicott, N. Chodorow Psychoanalytic aspects of culture: K. Dali, J. Fraser. The ideas of Russian psychologists: N.N. Vasyagina, G.G. Filippova, V.I. Brutman, A.Ya. Varga, I.Y. Khamitova, R.V. Ovcharova, Yu.G. Meshcheryakova, E.I. Zakharova, O.A. Karabanova, I.S. Kon, D.V. Belinskaya, etc. Gender aspect: A.V. Rostova, D. D. Isaev. Sociological approach: Litovka by V.A. I. Hoffman, J. Mani, M. Weber and P. A. Sorokina.

Biotechnosphere. A mother woman is a female organism designed by nature to give birth to a child. The body and reproductive organs play a primary role for the possibility of conception, gestation and birth of a child.

In addition to the reproductive organs, we note such an organ as the breast, which allows you to breastfeed a child after birth. That is, the mother's body conceives, bears, gives birth and feeds a child after birth – this is the main function of the mother's body to maintain and grow offspring. In this regard, these functions may or may not be implemented (a woman cannot conceive, carry a child and/or a woman cannot nurse her child). Both areas are currently relevant and cause concern in professional circles (for example, infant mortality, infertility and the inability to breastfeed), which contributes to the development of various programs at the social and state level to support motherhood and childhood.

Let's turn to research in the field of medical science. The main areas of research on motherhood relate (medical studies carried out in 2002-2020) to the problems of adolescent motherhood and assistance to underage pregnant women; maternity protection; breastfeeding support; infant mortality and reproductive losses; pregnancy, childbirth and pathology; mother's personality and reproductive IVF technology; disability and mortality of the child population. That is, research directly concerns the physical body (healthy, sick), its support and, if necessary, medical intervention, the use of biotechnologies, the organization of medical and social rehabilitation.

The body can be considered as a mechanism that has violations or does not have violations; which is influenced by various technologies, functioning according to certain rules. It is worth noting that at the moment, the study of infertility issues is considered in most cases within the framework of medical research^[1]. Psychological, social, and cultural aspects are poorly represented, and sometimes are not taken into account in the treatment of such women.

The physical development of a person implies reaching a certain stage of development, where he turns out to be capable of procreation. For procreation, the body must be able to do this, that is, be "healthy", possess certain organs. The body can be healthy and/or sick. Alive and/or dead (symbolically dead). Disorders of a woman's reproductive system are caused by diseases and psychological factors. Somatic disorders include a whole list of diseases that prevent a woman from becoming pregnant, which are considered in the most detail in medical sources and studies. Psychological factors that allow and do not allow pregnancy are presented mainly in psychological and psychoanalytic literature.

A girl is born with certain female organs, thanks to which, as an adult, she will be able to get pregnant, carry and give birth to a child. A girl who has reached a certain age and sexual maturity (adolescence and the onset of menarche) turns out to be physically able to become a mother. Menarche (menstruation) is a sign that a girl can physically become pregnant. A woman is able to become pregnant and give birth to a child before the menopausal period of her biological development.

The fetus can be physically preserved and born, or it can be physically rejected, as in the case of miscarriage or abortion, when the mother can deny the life of the fetus and deny herself motherhood.

After the birth of the child, the mother takes physical care of the child (the child must be well-fed, dry and warm). Along with physical care, psychological care (emotional contact, containment, communication, interest) is necessary for physical and mental development. Psychological and physical care allow the child to develop physically and mentally. Otherwise, the child finds himself in conditions of deprivation, which leads to the development of various kinds of pathology at the level of somatics and psyche.

The psychosphere. Having a child is a woman's opportunity and function. This is a creative process (M. Langer) and the area of a man's envy of a woman (turning to psychoanalytic ideas). "...women know how to give birth themselves and know how to make the seed bear fruit. So let them sow. We men can't match them in this business," J. Fraser.

Modern psychology considers motherhood as a psychosocial phenomenon: from the point of view of the mother's activity to provide conditions for the formation of the child's personality, mother-child relations (deep aspects are presented mainly in a psychoanalytic approach), the development of the mother's personal sphere (for example, readiness for motherhood, satisfaction with motherhood, the deep aspect of experiences – fears, anxieties, emotional reactions, conflicts, etc. are shown in psychoanalytic works (G. Bibring, J. Kestenberg, H. Deutsch) ^{[1, 2, 3, 4]}.

Motherhood as a stage in the formation of gender identity and self-realization is shown in the works (ideas of Brutman V.I., Varga A.Ya. and Khamitova I.Yu.) ^{[5, 6]}. Motherhood in the aspect of the formation of maternal self-awareness during the transformation of the motivational and activity sphere of a woman (Ovcharova R.V. and Filippova G.G.) ^[7]. The importance of the content of the experience gained by a woman, starting from childhood (ontogenesis), is emphasized ^{[8, 9]}.

Motherhood and pregnancy as a gender role formation of a woman.. Pregnancy is presented as a transitional crisis period, when unresolved childhood experiences, difficulties in relationships with one's own mother and other people become aggravated. The pregnancy period is a crisis period for both women and men. The successful living of this crisis is associated with the personal maturity of the couple.

The postpartum period is considered important for the formation of ideas about motherhood, when a "third" child appears in the family and the entire early existing system of the couple is rebuilt.

Satisfaction with motherhood. Until the very end of the 19th century, motherhood was traditionally considered in Russia to be the main purpose, meaning and value of a woman. In this context, society viewed a woman quite utilitarianly, and the attitude of the woman herself to her maternal role was not taken into account. In modern society, a woman has the opportunity at a certain stage of her life to make an independent value choice in favor of motherhood, establishing her personal balance of priorities in relation to other areas of life, such as career growth, social prospects, communication or personal hobbies. The decision to give birth to a child is associated for parents with the need to take on certain responsibilities and responsibilities for organizing conditions for its optimal development at all stages of life ^[10]. Meanwhile, the role of a parent, being a creative activity, is associated not so much with duty and duty as with joy and satisfaction, since it provides an adult with great opportunities for self-realization ^[11]. However, unfortunately, parenthood, and in particular motherhood, is not always satisfying.

The problem of satisfaction with motherhood is presented in the works of Meshcheryakova Yu.G. ^[12] and Zakharova E.I. Satisfaction is considered as "a subjective assessment of the quality of certain objects, living conditions and activities, life in general, relationships with people, people themselves and oneself (self-esteem) (ideas of Meshcheryakova Yu.G.).

Zakharova E.And considers satisfaction with motherhood as an element of family well-being, as a subsystem of society; as integral experiences of a woman mother - the nature of the relationship with the child, the success of the implementation of parental functions; the success of the child's development as a result of her own activities; attitude to the maternal role; the attitude of close people to a woman in the role of mother.

The subjective perception of motherhood is influenced by the personal characteristics of a woman. Baranovskaya T.I. identifies the personal qualities of the mother, which have the greatest impact on the formation of basic maternal qualities necessary for the performance of maternal functions. The greatest influence is a woman's attitude towards herself and her loved ones, as well as to the world around her. They are the basis for establishing emotional contact with the child and establishing supportive relationships with other people. The level of intellectual development is important for the organization of the child's subject interaction, as well as for the development of empathy in the mother herself. Self-confidence and adequate self-esteem also contribute to responsiveness and acceptance in communicating with a child ^[13]. Also, the level of personal maturity of the mother, which implies an adequate understanding of herself, formed values and the ability to make choices and take responsibility for them, are directly related to the mother's attitude to her maternal role ^[14].

The next factor that has an important impact on satisfaction with motherhood is the quality of partnership or marital relations. Karabanova O.A. finds that interpersonal communication, being one of the key moments in the life of a married couple, determines the effectiveness of the functioning of the family as a whole ^[15]. During the inevitable adaptive family crisis following the appearance of a new family member, healthy interpersonal relationships based on mutual support become a necessary condition for the adaptation of the matter of all family members to new realities of life. Sometimes a man performs a containerizing function, helping a woman cope with conflicts related to experiencing pregnancy and the postpartum period.

Another factor related to satisfaction with motherhood is the degree to which a woman's life plans are realized. The researchers note that women who were satisfied with motherhood had previously planned both marriage and childbirth, that is, it became the embodiment of their life plans. Whereas for women with low satisfaction, the birth of a child was not planned in advance.

Readiness for motherhood. Readiness for motherhood is a phenomenon that has been of interest to many researchers in psychology over the past few years. It is considered in various aspects: in the phylogenetic aspect ^{[16, 17]}; factors influencing maternal behavior are studied ^[18]; sociological studies of late motherhood and underage motherhood ^[19]; research of risk factors for child mental pathology in connection with social and mental abnormalities of mothers ^{[20, 21]}; significant personal characteristics of the expectant mother and methods are being developed to identify the attitude of parents towards the unborn child ^[22]

V.I. Brutman, D.V. Winnicott, S.A. Minyurova note that a woman's willingness to become a mother is formed throughout her life. The process of formation of this readiness is influenced by both biological and social factors ^{[23, 24, 25]}. S.O. Kashapova notes that women who have disorders in their readiness to become a mother have corresponding characteristics, which include: emotional and psychological immaturity; low tolerance to stress; unrestrained affects; unwillingness to marry due to emotional instability, egocentrism, desire for independence; focus on their problems, etc. ^[26].

An ambivalent attitude towards pregnancy is noted. V.I. Brutman and M.S. Radionova write in their works that even the pregnancy that was desired also has a contradictory affect. Women simultaneously with joy, optimism and hope begin to be afraid, sad and wary of behaving. This condition is associated with the regression of a woman during pregnancy and the reactivation of maternal conflicts ^[27].

S.Y. Meshcheryakova considers a woman's psychological readiness to become a mother as a specific personal education, the main core of which is the subject — subject orientation that a woman develops in a child who has not yet had time to be born. This orientation is formed in a woman due to the fact that she is influenced by biological and social factors. The author names the main components that are part of the structure of a woman's psychological readiness for motherhood: the features of the communicative experience that the expectant mother received in childhood, when she had the opportunity to communicate with close adults, only affective traces can indicate what kind of communication this was; a woman's experiences of pregnancy are the most important factors here, which indicate the nature of these experiences, this is the desirability of pregnancy and the child; orientation to the strategy of upbringing and caring for the baby – this factor indicates what kind of attitude a woman has towards the child, whether she wants to behave in such a way that the needs of the child are taken into account first of all, or she wants only her needs were taken into account.

In general, women who are ready to become mothers and those women who are not ready for motherhood have different ideas about the role of a mother: women who are ready for motherhood have an image of a mother who is accepting, responsive, contributing to the development and education of a child, sharing his independent value. In women who are not ready for motherhood, there is a pronounced lack of qualities such as acceptance, responsiveness and a desire for child development.

Filippova G. G. highlighted in his work a few basic motifs that define motherhood: a woman, so he wants to show that she has achieved the status that I had wanted to become an adult, independent, she began to occupy an important place in society, she now has the right to require a certain attitude; a woman wants to meet the perfect model "a full life" - a man must be certain things, otherwise life becomes full, the woman wants that she left the child to continue the family line; a woman in motherhood wants to implement all the chances to raise a child, to give him all their knowledge, experience; a woman wants her child to compensate for all the problems that are and will be in her life – she wants her child to have a better life, that he was smarter than that it was beautiful to live in a more better time than fell to her life, to have got all what she wanted, but was unable to; a woman wants to show their love to children she wants to get pleasure from process of communication with your child, she is curious about what it feels, what lives, something to strive for, she has the desire to ensure that the child develops his personality that he was independent, he loved others, a woman reaches a critical age to give birth to their children.

For every woman, the motivation to become a mother is always determined by the different circumstances in which she finds herself. These conditions, which dictate her need to become a mother, are unique and highly individual. related to the birth and upbringing of a child.

The value of a child matters. A woman also values motherhood as her child. G.G. Filippova identified four main types of child value: emotional value – when the mother experiences only positive emotions when she communicates and interacts with her child; heightened emotional value - the mother concentrates her attention completely only on the child; replacing the independent value of the child with values from the socio-a comfortable sphere – for the mother, the child becomes a means that helps her achieve other goals in life, status, the child becomes a source of good; a complete lack of value.

Motherhood from the point of view of the psychoanalytic approach allows us to conclude the following aspects related to the passage of the stage of psychosexual development and the resolution of development complexes, resulting in the formation of female gender identity (Z. Freud, R. Stoller, T. F. Tysons); motherhood as a stage of development of female identity (Z. Freud, M. Bonaparte, H. Deutsch, D. Pines, M. Klein, D. Winnicott, N. Chodorow, etc.), (parenthood) as a stage of psychosexual development (Z. Freud, T. Benedekt), as a stage of personal development (Mordas E.S., Kharisova R.R.) From the point of view of the psychoanalytic approach, in her mental development, a woman, in order to realize her ability to motherhood, must integrate three necessary elements: a satisfying connection with the primary maternal object; resolution of the incestuous desire of the child from the father; mature libidinal the relationship to your sexual partner in the present.

Motherhood is a process of transformation taking place on a biological and social level, a process that changes a woman's identity. He is influenced by the relationship between mother and daughter, who were in the family, and what they are at the moment. Motherhood realizes a woman's desire to recreate the experience of child-mother symbiosis (N. Chodorou) ^[28]. If, as a child, the girl had a relationship of reliable affection and a sense of self-worth, then, becoming a woman, she acquires an internal representation of a "good mother", which gives her the ability to realize herself in a maternal role. One of the important aspects of motherhood is the interaction of mother and child. Representatives of the theory of object relations paid attention to the nature of the object relationship between mother and child and its influence on the mental development of personality, who believed that both the internal dynamics of the infant and the real relationship with the mother are important in building object relations.

The development aspect: Let's distinguish three levels of identity development: the bodily level, the psychological level and the social level. Our Ego, first of all, the bodily Ego. The development of identity begins with the experience of the body and bodily identity.

A person is born of a certain gender - male or female. Also Z. Freud noted that anatomy is destiny. Anatomy defines a special path of development for men and women. Gender is formed when the child is in utero (formed by the end of the ninth week). The sex of a child determines the attitude of his parents towards him. Mother and father have different attitudes, fantasize and worry about the sex of the child. It is important that the sex of the child is accepted, not devalued.

Before reaching the stage of development of a Mother Woman (that is, before becoming a mother), a girl lives a story related to the experience of the body and experiences. The experience of the body will include what is considered in psychology in the context of the core of sexual identity and includes aspects of: 1. Early identification with the mother – the experience of shared bodily pleasure with the mother (D. Pines). 2. Body image formation. Awareness and representation of female genitalia. 3. Discovering your gender. 4. The formation of the integrity and value of one's own body, its narcissistic cathection through identification with the mature body of the mother. The contribution of the paternal figure to the design of female bodily consolidation.

The primary sense of one's gender is established in early childhood, but the girl acquires sexual identification by the beginning of adolescence. During adolescence, sexuality is revealed and attracts a girl to the first sexual act, which confirms the girl's right to her own adult body, separate from her mother's. Moreover, the bodily changes that occur in each transitional phase of a woman's life cycle have an impact on the image of her own Self and change it.

The role of the mother in the early stages of the child's development is significant. The mother physically and emotionally communicates with the baby's body, the mother's attitude plays an essential role in the emergence of the child's own self and body image. The girl introjects the mother. The experience of bodily satisfaction in contact with the mother is important. So, within the framework of the theory of sexual identity, a woman goes through the following stages of development: 1. A positive experience of shared bodily pleasure with the mother. 2. Psychological separation from the mother, assimilation of female behavior patterns (identification). 3. The turn from the maternal to the paternal figure is the formation of a sexual partner orientation. 4. Waiting for a man and the birth of a child.

D. Pines will note, "the desire to be pregnant does not mean the desire to have a child" - this phrase means that pregnancy for a woman may be completely unrelated to the birth of a child (another person), but sometimes it is associated with certain psychological conflicts of a woman, which she resolves through her body while pregnant. Each pregnancy has its own psychological history of origin and development, is filled with certain fantasies and desires of both the woman and the couple and allows them to resolve or appear as a result of certain conflicts. Therefore, the idea that the first pregnancy allows to resolve conflicts between mother and daughter has not been proven. The first pregnancy gives a woman a further stage of identification based on a biological basis.

If we turn to the conclusions drawn on the basis of a review and analysis of works published in psychoanalytic journals: Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, Journal of Analytical Psychology, The Psychoanalytic Quarterly, The International Journal of Psychoanalysis (1921-1988). on the problems of pregnancy, the phenomenon of pregnancy in psychoanalysis is represented by the following aspects: to resolve castration experiences and to acquire a "lost phallus", where the child = phallus; compensation for the missing organ; pregnancy and narcissistic expansion; pregnancy as an opportunity for separation from the mother and individuation; pregnancy as confirmation of one's fertility and sexuality; as a crisis period; pregnancy as an act of initiation; pregnancy as an opportunity to experience loss and filling the "void", avoiding depression; pregnancy as an avoidance of suicide; choosing "life" instead of "death" in case of destructiveness; pregnancy as a repair of the destroyed maternal image; pregnancy as an attempt to interrupt psychoanalytic treatment.

Teenage pregnancy is the actual acceptance of a female role. It is often associated with a desire and an attempt to separate (separate) from the mother, in the event that the separation did not happen in any other way. As an attempt to claim the right to own your body (in the relationship of maternal capture and aggression). And to take a higher social position related to motherhood.

The presence of pregnancy presupposes the presence of a partner (a man for a woman and vice versa). A child is born in a couple. Resolved early developmental conflicts allow a woman to build a relationship with a man and create a couple in which a child will appear. It matters (in the history of life) both the role of the mother (identification with the mother) and the role of the father (acceptance of the daughter's femininity and her gender). Pregnancy is a period of identity crisis, anxiety, ambivalent feelings and regression. A woman reactivates the conflicts of her own infancy. A big role is given to her own experience of infancy and the Mother-daughter relationship. A successful experience of a relationship with one's own mother makes it possible for a favorable course of pregnancy, an unfavorable experience of a relationship with a mother, hostility, resentment against the mother disrupt the favorable course of pregnancy, up to the impossibility of pregnancy itself at the physical level.

With a traumatic experience of her life story, a woman may not be able to become a mother (for example, psychogenic infertility, miscarriages, frozen pregnancy). These states are based on suppressed hostility towards the mother, identification with a symbolically dead mother, rejection of one's body and experiencing it as unable to give life; the father is symbolically absent. In this case, one's own hostility shifts and remains attributed to an unborn child (or an imaginary child), an imaginary child is either completely absent from the mental space of a woman and then it is necessary to "create" it, give space for its appearance, or is experienced as a stalking other. Women suffering from psychogenic infertility do not have a child in their inner space ^[29].

Women have a specific manifestation of aggression, namely, a woman shows aggression towards herself, her body (masochism) or her child, where the child is her "continuation", i.e. she considers the child as a part of herself. A man shows aggression externally (heteroaggression) - this is due to the peculiarities of the development of boys, they are allowed to show aggression, girls are forbidden in culture and society. As a result, boys (as is normal - from autoaggression to heteroaggression, the orientation of aggression develops) show aggression towards others, while girls suppress and direct it at themselves or at their children. In this connection, various forms of disturbed perverse motherhood appear in the modern world - the expression of aggression (hatred) against children and their bodies. The root cause is the early traumatic relationship with the mother; the early archaic period of development and relationships ^[30].

If psychogenic infertility is "as if you want to, but it doesn't work out", frozen pregnancy, miscarriage – "it happened by accident, I wanted to be born, but ...", then abortion is real actions that are carried out with the permission of the woman herself over her body – forcible penetration into the body and destruction of the contents of her body. In this case, the anxiety of persecution turns out to be so strong that the force of this anxiety pushes the conceived child out of the womb, which can be considered both miscarriage and abortion equivalent events of resolving unbearable anxiety. In both cases, we are dealing with the experience of violence against one's own body.

Or a woman reproduces her life story in the field of reproductive health of relationships with children, if she has any (for example, deviant motherhood). Deviant motherhood is a broad concept that includes various forms of impaired motherhood. For example, these are women suffering from alcoholism, drug addiction, showing aggression against a child, carrying out violence against a child (forms of violence vary from physical to psychological violence. At the moment, ignoring the needs of the child is attributed to one of the forms of violence) women suffering from delegated Munchausen syndrome (the latter is attributed to mental disorders of the mother, it is difficult to identify).

Currently, one of the most relevant forms of deviant motherhood is perverse narcissistic motherhood. As a rule, such mothers have certain character traits, namely, pronounced narcissistic. Their attitude towards the child is characterized by disregard for his needs, devaluation of his being, exploitation for their own purposes, the mother does not respect the psychological boundaries of the child; the mother merges with the child, controlling his every step, or is completely indifferent and distanced.  Children are not valuable in themselves for such a mother, they are objects of realization of their own desires, the possibility of acting out their hatred, envy and revenge, the object of fetishistic relations turned into an inanimate object; lack of separation from the mother, symbiotic relations with the child, lack of psychological boundaries; narcissistic perversion manifests itself in motherhood by attacking the child for the narcissistic benefit of the mother through suppression, domination, subordination of the child; narcissistic perverse motherhood includes such techniques of suppression as posing unsolvable dilemmas or paradoxical communication, as well as simpler ones, such as denying the value and significance of the child's thoughts and understandings.

Childfree as a phenomenon of motherhood in modern realities. There are two types of childfree representatives: the first refuse children because of hatred for them, and the second adhere to the views of a childless lifestyle, because they want to be free and independent from children and parenthood. Representatives of childfree, refusing to give birth and raise children, often marry and lead a sexual life. Sociologically, research shows that childfree representatives tend to show greater social effectiveness than people who give birth and raise children. According to the research results, among the characteristics inherent in the representatives of childfree, their atheistic position and career orientation are distinguished. According to the research results, the following are distinguished among the socio-psychological characteristics of childfree representatives: high level of intelligence, successful professional self-realization, high material prosperity, living in big cities, atheistic orientation, low level of conformism, focus on freedom and independence, the need for self-development, creativity, unwillingness to spend their time and effort on raising children. Representatives of childfree often have a fear that pregnancy and childbirth will negatively affect their appearance, as well as fears of dysfunctional pregnancy and childbirth. ^{[31, 32, 33]}

The cultural sphere. Two spaces: the real mother and the inner mother.The image of the mother acts as a mental core that has a significant impact on human life in various cultures.

The first person a child meets is his mother. The experience of emotional contact and physical care gives the child an experience of his experiences associated with his mother – it can be an experience of pleasure and safety or an experience of pain and danger. It is important that the experience of pleasure, joy and pleasant interaction be greater than the experience of pain and negative experiences. This is how the inner image of the mother develops in the inner reality of the child.

A person's idea of a mother (the inner image of a mother) often does not coincide with the real mother (the real mother). The image of a mother plays an important role in a person's mental life – it creates his identity, perception and attitude towards himself. The role of the mother's image is just as significant as the role of the real mother. The inner mother can be good and helpful, accessible, loving and accepting, but she can also be dangerous, evil and even cruel.

The essence of the maternal principle symbolizes the life experience of each person. The mother has power over the child, as giving life and nourishing, and the mother as destroying and destroying. Mother is like life, gives a feeling of I am. And the mother is like death – destroying a person's personality throughout his life.

The image of the mother embodies not only the psychological, but also the physical basis of human existence, including the idea of the body as a vessel containing the soul. The maternal image accompanies us everywhere unconsciously, filled with various experiences, fears, affects – love and hate.

C.G. Jung introduced the concept of the mother archetype. This is the part of the psyche that is connected and remains completely at the mercy of Nature. That's why we use the expression Mother Nature. The Father Spirit is the opposite pole. The two principles of being are the archetypes of father and mother. They can exist together, forming a harmonious whole, or oppose each other. The father embodies an active, creative principle; the mother embodies sensuality and caring.

Maternal is related to instincts and physical drives. Accordingly, with the attraction to life and the attraction to death. The negative influence (death drive) of the maternal principle turns out to be so strong that it turns into an obstacle to a person's spiritual aspirations. At the same time, the "mother" not only creates obstacles associated with the opposition of instinctual drives to spirituality, but also resolves them, since she combines opposites. That is, the "mother" has an incomprehensible power that can suppress, or even become the source of everything new.

Thus, the maternal principle has two sides: one seeks to create life and consciousness and uses all available means to achieve this goal, while the other seeks to return to the unconscious and non-existence: in other words, it brings death and destruction. This is the ambivalence of the maternal image.

From history. In the cultural and historical context, the formation and change of social expectations regarding the proper maintenance of motherhood is traced under the influence of local cultural and religious characteristics. ^[34] The expected functions of the mother are described and transmitted culturally from generation to generation in the form of rituals, customs, beliefs, norms and rules. In the works of Vasyagina N.N. ^[35] and Kona I.S., it is noted that in the traditional patriarchal society of Russia, motherhood is considered as the main purpose and sacred duty of a woman. The religious beliefs of traditional Orthodoxy and political interests largely determine the norms of childbearing and motherhood (encouraging fertility in a legitimate marriage; reproductive taboos, the concepts of "illegitimacy" and "illegitimacy" of offspring; the negative context of single motherhood "single mother", etc.). The norms of housebuilding place a woman and children in full subordination to the head of the family, a man. At the same time, the mother woman becomes the key archetype of Russian religiosity (associated with the image of the Virgin Mary), here a woman is prescribed the manifestation of Christian qualities: modesty, asexuality, sacrifice, chastity, patience, care, compassion, beauty and love. Moreover, the Christian vision of the foundations of motherhood in Russia remained as the only ideology until the end of the XIX century. The introduced norms have an ambiguous effect on the social status, rights and freedoms of a female mother: praised by society as a divine image of a female mother in everyday life means a dependent, almost servile position in relation to her breadwinner husband, and the complete subordination of her feelings and thoughts to the obligations of a female and maternal role. At the same time, the attitude towards motherhood of the woman herself, as a rule, is not taken into account, any experiences other than the benevolent and humble following of her "destiny" and "maternal instinct" are subject to public censure and are considered as a painful and threatening deviation from the norm. Possible dissatisfaction and negative experiences associated with motherhood should be suppressed by a woman for the sake of belonging to society, and often just survival.

It should be noted that the very concept of "maternal instinct" is very vague and is largely a myth; numerous cross-cultural, ethnographic, biological and psychological studies do not reveal such a concept. Thus, having studied the maternal attitudes of women during the VII-XX centuries, the French researcher E. Badinter notes that it was not possible to detect the manifestation of any common maternal instinct, attitude or behavior, or special obligatory maternal love. Women's feelings about motherhood are very variable, depending on both personal and cultural and historical factors. I.S. Kohn notes that in our cultural environment, motherhood is becoming the main form of a female stereotype. Whereas in practice, the content of the maternal (and paternal) role and, accordingly, the attitude towards a woman as a good or bad mother is constantly changing under the influence of cultural, historical realities, and whether motherhood is valued or devalued by society at this stage.

Thus, in a more emancipated modern society, the need to become a mother and the content of motherhood itself are increasingly subordinated to the freedom of a woman's personal choice, and the intensity of "child-centrism" is significantly reduced. It becomes possible to revise the content of the maternal role, some functions can be delegated to other family members, hired assistants or social institutions. The researchers note that the alienation associated with emancipation and a change in value orientations in the field of maternal-child relations can have a negative impact on family relationships and satisfaction with motherhood ^[36]. Nevertheless, a woman's great social and material independence makes it possible to clarify her true attitude to motherhood, as well as, if desired, modify it, working specifically with those components that do not suit a woman or entail problems of her self-determination in life, family and society.

Woman and culture. The female image in culture is presented as an ambivalent image, a woman has dangerous power, a woman as a taboo object and this is primarily due to her feminine nature (menstruation, pregnancy and childbirth, which is taboo). The works of Z. Freud ^[37], K. Dali ^[38], J. Fraser ^[39] describe numerous taboos and prescriptions against women in various periods of her life, a woman's connection with supernatural forces.

J. Fraser notes that the ancient Germans believed that a woman was sacred and therefore consulted them as oracles. Women, observing nature, predicted what to expect. Women were often worshipped as goddesses. In Greenland, a woman during childbirth and for some time after giving birth has the ability to calm the storm.

Motherhood in the work of J. Fraser's is presented as a welcome experience. He is expected. Higher powers come to the rescue. A woman is connected to nature. A fertile woman makes plants fertile, and a barren woman infertile. J. Fraser describes the rituals for infertility – to give offspring to a woman, in order to facilitate childbirth, where people participate (the plot is played out) and nature (trees), simulation of childbirth as a form of adoption and performing a visual imitation of the act of childbirth. The value of a healthy baby and a healthy birth is indicated.

It is worth mentioning the idea developed by the author Litovka V.A. on reproductive culture. Litovka V.A. notes that productive culture is a part of universal human culture, it is a complex and multifaceted phenomenon of human daily life, which is filled with a specific meaning depending on the context ^[40]. And identifies the triad of this culture: reproductive norms, values; beliefs, views and ideas; material reproductive culture. In the latter case, it is possible to offer a culture of help (including two sides – the sufferer and the specialist), for example, if you are unable to become a mother. This idea is of interest - a woman living in a certain culture has certain reproductive norms and values (for example, motherhood is important to her). She is guided by certain beliefs, for example, women who have become pregnant, and knows where to turn for help to accompany pregnancy. And there are social institutions in the social structure where this kind of assistance is provided.

The sociosphere. Reproduction as a social process is considered in sociological research. Society controls and is interested in the reproductive function through the family, the state, and religion.

A child is born anatomically of a certain gender and learns his role (male or female) in the development process through the process of identification and socialization. Girls identify with their mother and acquire a gender-role female identity. The result of the formation of which is childbirth. Girls find ways of interacting with other members of society and attitudes towards their feminine role in the family, culture, and society.

Having given birth to a child, a woman begins to try on a new role for herself – the role of a mother who can change her status, who needs to perform many different duties because of this. Her attitude towards herself is changing. She begins to identify herself as a female mother. The fact that a woman has become responsible for the role of a mother can be said only if she has begun to fully understand the meaning of motherhood, its main tasks.

The mother's task is not only to feed and grow the child, but also in the educational process, training. So that the child can integrate into the society in which he was born. The first stage of socialization takes place in the family. The family acts as the first social institution where certain social and cultural norms are established. The rules and regulations that should be incorporated and followed. The relationship model (and the relationship with the child) in the family is often associated with events taking place in society and culture as a whole. 

Biologically determined components of motherhood have a huge impact on the content of the maternal role, behavior and mood of the mother, especially in the first months of the child's life. From the point of view of psychophysiology, prolonged intimacy with the mother is key for the survival and adaptation of the newborn, the formation of his psyche and the formation of behavioral development programs ^[41]. The mother woman is considered here as a necessary and main source responsible for the quality of forms of interaction with the child, including the adequate manifestation of maternal behavior (before birth), parental behavior (after the birth of the child), as well as the development of the biosocial dominant of motherhood (the ability to adequately distinguish and respond to the needs of the child). The mother's behavior is influenced by the innate repertoire of the infant's behavior, its special features, smells, poses, sounds form a certain social behavior of the mother ^[42]. The researchers highlight the special qualities of a mother that are necessary for her to successfully create conditions for the development of a child, in particular, maternal acceptance as a factor confirming a positive emotional attitude towards the baby, and responsiveness expressing a degree of respect for the individuality of the child. It is also noted that in terms of its content, maternal participation in the child's life, and hence the impact on his psychophysical development, is characterized by the style or type of maternal attitude. Filippova G.G., based on the works of D. Winnicott, S.Y. Meshcheryakov, A.Ya. Varga and others. She described five styles of maternal attitude (adequate style, anxious, emotionally detached, ambivalent, and affectively rejecting), taking into account the author's set of criteria, including the style of emotional support, the quality of development of maternal competence, the degree of subjectivization of the child, the way of establishing the daily routine, the mother's satisfaction with herself and the child, etc. Note that in this approach, mother and child are always considered in an inseparable dyad; and motherhood is described only in terms of the necessary conditions for the birth and development of a child. 

Researchers find that the content of ideas about the maternal role is influenced by both the personal experience of becoming a future mother, as well as phylogenetic and anthropological models of the family and attitudes towards children, as well as the values accepted in this culture.

Classics of family therapy point out another mechanism — deep intergenerational inheritance of behavioral patterns and building relationships in the family, which in turn affect ideas about motherhood.

Murray Bowen describes the process of intergenerational transmission — when, through conscious learning from parents and unconscious copying of their emotional reactions and behavior, the personality characteristics of children are formed. Thus, both the level of personal differentiation and the models of interpersonal relations are transmitted to the next generations, which further determine a similar picture of family relations and parenting models in the next generations.  E. G. Eidemiller talks about the phenomenon of transprojection from generation to generation of cognitive styles and response models. His research shows that repeated distortions leading to inharmonious parenting can be traced back at least three generations, and in the motivational sphere there is an increase in such distortions ^[43]. A.A. Schutzenberger, within the framework of psychogenealogical therapy, notes the transgenerational transmission of life scenarios in several generations, when descendants, in particular, unconsciously reproduce models of intra-family relations and psychological trauma, following invisible loyalties towards their ancestors ^[44]. B. Hellinger talks about intergenerational dynamics and orders of systemic consciousness, which complements personal consciousness ^[45]. Following the need to belong to his family, the child's consciousness approves of everything that strengthens his ties with the family, protecting his belonging to the family system. Children consider the habits, beliefs and values of the family to be correct, regardless of whether the child is treated well or badly - this is how behaviors and ways of responding are gradually internalized and transmitted from generation to generation at the level of systemic consciousness, generating family-specific dynamics. Already in adult descendants of such a system, a possible violation of family orders activates the consciousness of guilt, which is why it is so difficult for them to reconsider and change their attitude to their social role and model of parenthood, even if their current state does not bring satisfaction. S. Lebovisi writes about transgenerational transmission and the transfer of a "mandate" to a child from parents ^[46].

Research in the field of sociology examines the following issues (scientific research on sociological science 1999-2020): from the point of view of the transformation of the institution of parenthood, a fairly large number of works on social policy and protection of motherhood and childhood, young motherhood; various aspects of motherhood (as a social institution, motherhood and single-parent family, abandonment of motherhood), investments of parents in children, early motherhood as a social phenomenon, children and the economic activity of mothers. The research is based on certain social aspects of the phenomenon associated with motherhood.

Litovka V.A. in her work addresses the problem of the theoretical foundations of the analysis of reproductive behavior. The author identifies aspects that are included in the understanding of reproductive behavior: social factors that affect the level of fertility (the model of intermediate variables); certain actions that are related to the goals of the person himself and his real living conditions; internal factors, namely, values, motives and needs, the need for children; factors affecting childbirth from the perspective of discrimination against women in the field of reproductive law - in this case, parenthood is considered as a predominantly female experience, the father is excluded. Contraceptive behavior, in turn, is understood as a situation of refusal to give birth to children ^{[47, 48, 49, 50, 51]}.

Reproductive norms and values act as a regulator of behavior and have the peculiarity of transforming into traditions. Reproductive norms and values shape a person's reproductive culture.

The author notes the need to analyze not only the structure of reproductive behavior and the factors influencing it, but also a comprehensive study of innovative practices of reproductive behavior.

Gender issues in the modern world.The socio-cultural theory of gender is a socio-psychological approach to the study of sexual differences and similarities in social behavior, the key principle of which is that differences and similarities arise primarily due to the distribution of men and women according to social roles in the society to which they belong ^[52]. Through socialization and the formation of gender roles in society, the behavior of men and women in general supports and preserves the division of labor between them. In industrialized countries, for example, social roles are organized in such a way that women, unlike men, will be more likely to run a household and take care of children, perform professional duties related to education, medicine, light labor, etc. On the contrary, men are most often the main breadwinners of the family and perform professional roles that are often associated with physical strength, assertiveness or leadership qualities.

The division of social roles between women and men is flexible, but, nevertheless, it is limited by the inherent qualities of women and men, as well as socio-economic development and the ecology of society. In particular, typed social gender roles arise as a result of the interaction between the gender differences of men and women based on the presented physical characteristics of each gender and related behavior. This is especially true for the functions of childbearing and child care in women and physical qualities in men – developed muscle and strength mass of the upper body, as well as variable social, economic, technological and environmental factors present in society ^[53].

In general, there are three main theories of gender regarding the socio-cultural approach ^[54]. The first of them is the theory of the social construction of gender, or the understanding of gender as a social construct. There are two postulates of this approach: 1) gender is constructed through socialization, division of labor, the system of gender roles, the family, the media; 2) gender is formed by individuals themselves – at the level of their consciousness (gender identity), acceptance of norms set by society and adjustment to them in clothing, appearance, behavior, etc.

Gender identity is the deepest perception of oneself as a man or a woman, or both, or neither ^[55]. It may be the same as or different from the gender assigned at birth.

When understanding gender as a social construct, the following characteristics of gender are distinguished: biological sex; gender–role stereotypes that are common in a particular society; gender display - a variety of manifestations associated with social prescriptions of norms of male and female actions and interaction.

The concept of "gender display" was introduced by I. Hoffman to describe the social aspects of gender and expresses many manifestations of the cultural components of gender – female stereotypes, polo-role norms and polo-role identity. The gender display is a mechanism for creating gender. ^[56]

According to this approach, gender appears as a dimension of social relations. An individual learns certain rules of behavior and attitudes that society considers appropriate to their gender roles in the process of socialization. The key concepts in this approach are gender stereotypes and roles.

A gender stereotype is a stable, simplified, emotionally colored image of the behavior and character traits of a man and/or a woman. A gender role is a set of social norms that dictate behaviors that are generally considered desirable, appropriate, or acceptable based on their actual or perceived sexuality or sex. Gender roles usually focus on perceptions of masculinity and femininity, although there are variations and exceptions. The specifics associated with these views on gender roles can vary greatly across societies, while alternative traits may be common in all cultures. There is an unfinished discussion about which gender roles and their differences are established biologically and which are socially. Various groups, most often feminist movements, struggle to change the prevailing principles of gender roles in society, which they consider distorted and oppressive.

In 1955, J. Money coined the term "gender role" in the course of studying intersex individuals, describing the ways in which these individuals express their status as women and men in society ^[57]. Some of the social norms of gender roles include the requirements to act, speak, dress, take care of oneself and behave according to the assigned gender. For example, women and girls are expected to wear a dress, talk politely and kindly, take care of others, while men and boys will wear trousers, must be brave, strong and brave. However, these gender roles may vary in each society, culture, and ethnic group. In addition, the variability of gender roles may vary from one social group to another. In some communities, gender roles may also change from time to time.

Let's imagine the main components of gender in relation to personality: the category of biological sex (determined from the moment of birth based on the presence of primary signs (genitals). biological sex can be changed by surgical intervention); gender identity (personal understanding and acceptance of one's belonging to a certain sex); gender of marital and reproductive status (indicative is the fulfillment or rejection of marriage, childbirth, family relations); gender sexual orientations (socially and individually accepted patterns of sexual feelings, desires, practices and identification with them); gender personality (characterized by internationalized models of socially approved feelings, emotions that serve to consolidate generic structures, institutions of fatherhood); processes of gender reproduction (social practice of teaching "correct" gender behavior, including at the verbal level. Constant reproduction of gender differences and dominance); gender presentation (showing, demonstrating oneself as a person with appropriate gender qualities using clothing, cosmetics, jewelry and other informationally significant bodily markers).

Gender complementarity and uniqueness point to the importance of each gender, as men and women make a special contribution to society, production and interpersonal relationships, complementing each other. The main changes concerning gender begin to occur from the age of three and continue to be observed throughout the entire period of the child's development and adulthood. Men and women with a reliable gender identity tend to lead a healthy and happy lifestyle when they recognize and welcome their gender differences. In contrast, people who confuse gender tend to have more emotional, mental and psychological problems than those with a healthy gender structure.

Gender roles are necessary in order to make gender differences complementary and real. In addition, gender roles change and will change from time to time due to the progressiveness of the social environment at each historical stage of the development of civilization ^[58].

The second theory considers gender as a stratification category that takes into account an individual's class, race, nationality, and age. Gender stratification refers to a social rank where men usually occupy higher statuses than women. The terms "gender inequality" and "gender stratification" are often used interchangeably. There are different approaches to the study of gender stratification. Most research in this area focuses on the differences between broadly defined male and female life circumstances. This theory of gender is based on the classical theories of M. Weber and P. A. Sorokin on social inequality and social stratification ^[59]. The theory of gender stratification is based on the fact that men and women, as a rule, occupy unequal positions in the social hierarchy. For example, women practically do not hold high positions in government bodies, compared with men, in addition, they have a lower level of income and well-being.

An important role in this aspect is played by the ethnic and cultural attitude towards the role of women in society. It is well known that in many Muslim countries, women of the lower classes are subjected to social oppression ^[60]. In addition, a woman in Muslim countries is entrusted with the main duty that she must fulfill – procreation. Also important responsibilities of a woman in a Muslim society (without the right to choose) are the upbringing of children and marital duty. In this case, the male supremacy in the family is clearly defined in the Quran. As for the social role of a woman as a professional, she is allowed to work provided that certain requirements are met: the consent of a spouse or relative to the work of a Muslim woman, the preservation of Islamic moral and ethical norms, the choice of work in areas that are acceptable to a woman - upbringing, cooking, education, modeling and tailoring, etc. However, despite some modern social concessions regarding the status of a woman, the level of her social stratification in Muslim society is carried out strictly within the family.

The third theory considers gender within the framework of a cultural metaphor. Researchers such as L. Irrigare, Y. Kristeva, H. Sisu, and others have been engaged in understanding gender as a cultural metaphor ^[61] The main provisions of this theory are based on the symbolic, actually cultural aspect of gender research. In most cultures, according to A. V. Rostova, the masculine and feminine principles are elements of cultural and symbolic series. Thus, strength, activity, rationality and culture are inherent in the masculine principle, and emotionality, naturalness, passivity and weakness are inherent in the feminine. For example, in the European patriarchal tradition, the symbolism of the masculine and feminine performs a classifying function in building a model of the world. Thus, the pronounced opposition of masculine and feminine principles divides the model of the world into two parts – male/female. Therefore, gender in this case appears as the main indicative factor of a certain society, which forms traditional culture and traditional patriarchal knowledge about the world. These socio-cultural images form the understanding of femininity and masculinity, and the concept of gender becomes a cultural metaphor, forming a social reality.

Femininity and masculinity are acquired social identities as individuals socialize. As an individual develops in society, he develops a gender identity, as an understanding of what it means to be a "man" or "woman" ^[62]. How individuals develop an understanding of their gender identity, including the notion of whether they fit into these prescribed gender roles, depends on the context in which they are socialized and how they view themselves in relation to social gender norms. Class, racial, ethnic and national factors largely influence how individuals construct their gender identity and how they are perceived from the outside.

Gender identity is often naturalized, that is, individuals rely on the concept of biological difference – natural femininity includes, for example, motherhood, caring for children, the desire for beautiful clothes and the demonstration of emotions. Natural masculinity, on the other hand, can include fatherhood, violent behavior, the pursuit of sports and rivalry, as well as hiding emotions. In both cases, these constructions of gender identity are based on stereotypes that fall within the range of normative femininities and masculinities. However, as many researchers have pointed out (J. Butler, R. Bales, S. Boehm, I. S. Cohn, T. Parsons, R. B. Sarsembayeva, S. A. Ushakin, etc.), not all individuals fit into these prescribed norms. In this regard, masculinity and femininity today as cultural and social phenomena should be recognized as organized, labile, large-scale, historically and geographically differentiated ^[63].

A broader understanding of gender and gender is offered in their research by D. D. Isaev and A.V. Rostova, pointing out the need to consider gender identity from the point of view of multidimensional and complexity. Thus, A.V. Rostova focuses on the importance of considering gender relations from the standpoint of a systematic approach, which allows analyzing the object under study as a system with characteristic personal elements and functions, which is included as an element in a more voluminous system ^[64]. Consequently, as A. V. Rostova writes, the systematic approach, firstly, makes it possible to consider gender identity as a system-forming element of relations within the social system. Secondly, a systematic approach to the analysis of gender identity helps to determine the features of the interrelationships of gender between other elements of the social structure, which establish the nature of their relationship as patriarchy or matriarchy, or egalitarianism.

From the point of view of D. D. The study of gender identity should be considered as a system that should include biological, psychological and social factors ^[65]. That is, gender identity is a multi–level model based on psychological and sexually erotic characteristics, individual personality characteristics formed in the process of obtaining emotional and sensual experience through the realization of desires and needs, as well as their satisfaction, thereby building a gender body – the bodily Self. Based on his reflections, the researcher identifies three subsystems of the gender identity construct: gender, as a set of biological personality properties, and the corresponding basis of gender identity; gender role behavior and the corresponding polotypic personality qualities – masculinity/femininity; psychophysical sensations and experiences of erotic and sexual attraction of the personality with the incorporation of sexual orientation.

The formation of the presented construct of gender identity, D. D. notes. Isaev, is the result of a person's assimilation of the existing gender scheme in society (gender socialization), which depends quite a lot on a person's innate abilities. Due to the fact that the natural abilities of an individual develop from early childhood, the construction of gender is carried out at every stage of personal maturation: from recognition of belonging to a specific biological sex as the primary way of self-categorization (from birth to 2 years old), and acceptance or rejection of anatomical gender by experiencing and gaining experience of its development to deconstruction oneself as a subject and object of sexual belonging at puberty through an intermediate period of assimilation of models of gender relations (from 2-3 years old) and fitting of gender roles, which provides for gender socialization in the process of mastering and reproducing existing behavioral models. The relative independence of each of the presented subsystems makes it possible to exist not only a wide variety of gender identities, but also a mismatch between these components. The attempt to unify the norm according to each of the criteria (gender, gender, roles, sexual behavior) formed the basis of the concept of "gender disorders" existing in medicine and society discourse (J. Koch, M. Carpenter) ^{[66, 67]}.

Physicality and gender identity have mutually reinforcing connections: the body can enhance the perception of its identity, but it can also be an obstacle to the perception of the possibility of being oneself. In modern culture, the body is perceived as a fashion accessory, as something that can be modified as a thing, up to a complete gender change according to one's self-perception in the context of gender identity.

A person is born and formed in society. Society, in turn, establishes its own norms and rules, complements cultural values and moral foundations for each individual. And, depending on what kind of social environment exists around a person, a person will reproduce these values, norms, rules, and foundations.

The younger generation of Russia is being brought up on the socio-cultural values and norms of Russian traditions. From early childhood, children are taught that a boy-boy-man should be masculine, and a girl-girl-woman should be feminine. In S. A. Kuznetsov's explanatory dictionary of the Russian language, "courageous" is a person who has courage: presence of mind in danger, in trouble, brave, fearless, mentally resistant, brave, and a man is "the embodiment of certain properties, qualities (severity, firmness, honesty, etc.)" ^[68]. S. A. Kuznetsov's interpretation of the word "femininity" includes such signs and qualities of personality as grace, tenderness, gentleness, elegance, charm, charm. And it is precisely these qualities that characterize the ideal of female beauty.

For thousands of years, society has dictated to men and women the proper manner of behavior, and examples of appearance. By separating men and women visually, spiritually and mentally, designating a template for society that men and women are different – many people received only disunity and misunderstanding that a husband can cook and a wife can earn money, that they can communicate, love each other and be equally monogamous and polygamous.

It would be interesting to study the problem of gender in the context of the current state of the institution of the family – motherhood and fatherhood.

Personality and society: motherhood and infertility. The problems of motherhood and infertility are relevant in the modern world. The number of women who are unable to conceive naturally is growing. In this regard, there is a demographic decline, which is assessed by some authors as a social disaster and poses challenges to our society to preserve the reproductive health and potential of the population.

Sometimes a woman is faced with a choice – to follow her personal interests and aspirations or devote her time to her family, taking care of children and loved ones. We can also consider this conflict through the aspect of the development of femininity - the French psychoanalyst J. Shaffer defines the femininity of our contemporary as a combination of three poles: sexual, maternal and social ^[69]. These poles are in inevitable conflict, since the maternal is expectation and patience, the sexual is passive and masochistic, and the social is phallic. Balancing this mobile and unstable structure, constant efforts to resolve or at least mitigate the conflict between the poles, the search for a compromise between the feminine and the phallic, integration into the personality of all three hypostases – this is the way of harmonious female development in our time.

A woman finds herself in a situation of conflict (intrapersonal, maternal) and external – sometimes the family itself does not accept the personal interests of a woman. The latter is especially true if the women in the family lived (live) only for the benefit of the family.

The issue of the ability to create a long-term relationship between a man and a woman turns out to be significant. Due to the fear of intimacy (due to early trauma), an adult may have difficulty establishing close, trusting relationships.

A separate aspect can be distinguished between a full and incomplete family. It is not so much about the physical presence or absence, as about the inner father in the psyche of a woman, which she unconsciously transmits to her child and, accordingly, her attitude towards him. The presence of a father in the family and his active participation allows the child to separate from the mother in a timely manner and develop, grow up. The introduction of the father from the period of pregnancy to accompany the child in his development. Since unresolved symbiotic relationships negatively affect the development of an individual's personality, forming a developmental pathology, up to symbiotic psychosis and various variants of perverse motherhood. As a result, an adult is unable to build a close relationship with a partner, or builds destructive interpersonal relationships.

N. Chodorow integrated psychoanalytic and sociological theory with feminism. The author believes that the mother is designed to prepare boys and girls for their gender roles in society and the economy. The mother behaves differently towards her daughter and her son, and as a result, the girl prepares for the world of motherhood and family (motherhood reproduces itself), and the boy becomes a man who devalues a woman and orients himself to the outside world. To stop the devaluation (= aggression), the author calls on fathers to take an equal part in the upbringing of children.

In general, the need for the formation of a reproductive culture, a certain reproductive behavior in society (especially among young people), the desire to maintain a full family, referred to the socio-political and medical problems of childbearing in the modern world ^[70].

Women who are unable to conceive and give birth in a society where motherhood is a value may be stigmatized. In this case, the woman feels inferior, lonely, useless to anyone. The additional expectations of relatives and her husband only increase her anxiety and stress. In some families, where a woman is considered as an organism capable of reproducing offspring, husbands divorce if she is unable to perform this function.

Conclusion. The phenomenon of motherhood can be represented in the aspect of the spheres of being. The biotechnosphere includes a woman's reproductive ability to become a mother, physical health, the ability to bear and give birth to a child. After birth, it is necessary to feed him. The woman here can be considered as a reproductive machine. In case of a "breakdown" of which medical interventions are performed.

The psychosphere includes aspects of the mother's activity (motivational and activity sphere and subject interaction, motivation for the birth of a child), which is widely represented in the works of Russian psychologists. The mother's personality is considered through such phenomena as satisfaction with motherhood and readiness for motherhood, as a stage of development (psychosexual development, gender identity, sexual identity) – assuming maturity and self-realization in the experience of motherhood. Next, ideas appeared on the mother-child relationship (during pregnancy and the postpartum period), involving emotional contact, empathy, play, pleasure from playing and interest in the child. The experience of mother-daughter relationships (ontogenesis of a woman's development), where ideas about the transgenerational transmission of affection, conflicts, traumas and the family model are heard. Attention is paid to the Area of a woman's feelings related to the experience of motherhood (including pregnancy) – ambivalence, regression, anxiety, conflict, joy, satisfaction and ends with the problems of family relations and a couple. It should be noted that quite a lot of material has been obtained in aspects of the development of the personality of a woman-mother, a woman during pregnancy and mother-daughter, mother-child relationships. One aspect remains poorly understood – regarding marital or/and love relationships (couple), the role of the father in the formation of female identity and the adoption of a maternal feminine position. The role of a man in a woman's acceptance of her motherhood.

The cultural sphere includes values and meanings, motherhood as creativity, representation of the mother (good/bad, evil/kind), expectations and stereotypes associated with the image of the mother, verbal and non-verbal communication (mother-child contact space – speech, songs, interactions) and reproductive culture.

The sociosphere is represented as the social role of the mother (education, upbringing, socialization, social expectations), the formation of gender (in particular, the gender of marital and reproductive status), reproductive behavior and the role of the father in the development of femininity and female identity, because motherhood and pregnancy are one of the stages of the development of a woman's identity.

If you link all the spheres together around a single concept of Motherhood, then the Father, his function, turned out to be "lost". The role of a man in a woman's life and vice versa (a couple) and the birth of a child are areas of possible research. And the question remains open for research – parenthood and gender in modern conditions.

Below is a model of the spheres of socio-historical existence of the phenomenon of motherhood.

^[1] This problem is studied mainly in medical research. Only one work is devoted to the psychological study of the problems of infertility at the moment. This means that the woman's body is represented as a kind of physical mechanism that has a breakdown. The breakdown is eliminated as a result of certain medical technologies.